Journey down the Road of Remember…
Last week I left you with the question, what will be remembered of you?
This week, I would like to share some of the consistent experiences, moments, and people I have had in my life. The following have influenced me in my desire to leave a “road to remember:”
First, would be handwritten notes! This seems to be more and more rare. The picture today is of my Paw-Paw’s handwriting. When I started my business, I wanted to have a statement to display, to explain the purpose of my shop and the short story of the name of shop. My Paw-Paw worked and worked on this, I can’t even explain how many post-it notes he sacrificed (yes, sacrificed- I get my love of office supplies from him) for the sake of my Mission Statement. This was the final one. And I am so grateful I framed it! All four of my grandparents handwriting are distinct, and all make my heart beat fast and long to see them again. The fact that snail mail is so rare and handwriting is not necessarily a priority in K-12 education, does a job on my heart. I received mail from grandparents and family even when they only lived a few miles away! Don’t underestimate this simple yet powerful gesture!
(I am going to keep in rhythm with remembering my grandparents, and will throw in some others along the way.)
The extraordinary feeling of being known. It always felt like they had been waiting and preparing for me and my brother to come for a visit, like they would for their favorite celebrity. Most of the time they would be waiting for us on the porch or in the driveway. They would welcome us with smiles and hugs. And of course, snacks and our favorite drink of the moment. Dr Pepper, Wild Cherry Coke, Pepsi, Hi-C, Coke, you name it, they had it. Hershey kisses, Reese’s, Nabs (if your not from the south- this is a pack of sandwich crackers), Chips, Pringles, Raisinets, Double Noodle soup (with the carrots picked out), grilled cheese, I could go on for days….
Consistency, my brother and I laugh about this, but it is one of the things we treasure the most. And that is, where we went to shop and eat depending on which grandparents we were with. When we were with my mom’s parents, Paw-Paw and Grandma, if we were with them in the town my Paw-Paw worked in, we went to Hardee’s and the dime store. If they were home, “in town,” we went to Hardee’s or McDonalds or Dottie’s and always went to Roses. When we went out with my dad’s mom (his dad Al-Paw was usually working when his mom had us), Nannie we always went to Wendy’s and K-Mart. Something about this consistency is pure and simple, in a really really good way.
Every Christmas, after we woke up at the crack of dawn, opened all our presents, and we were still giddy because it was CHRISTMAS, we would call all our grandparents. And even though we were calling to tell them they could come see what we had gotten, we told them everything, even down to the orange we really didn’t want, but got. They all would come over, since they were all in town, and play with us until breakfast. Well, our second breakfast 😊, every Christmas we would have family and friends, who may not have family in town, for Christmas morning breakfast. This was a lot of fun and a blessing to see all generations come together and also see them engage and get to know our friends, and our friends meet them.
Some of you reading this knew my Paw-Paw, so this won’t surprise you, but in the 90s he was the first in our family to get a computer. Well, a computer that you could play more than Reader Rabbit and maybe one more game on. A computer that we could actually do research on and print things on normal paper, instead of perforated paper! It was a very smart move, because he knew all the grandchildren would need it at some point! And we all did! I’m not sure he thought through how many school projects he would get himself into by making this move, but he sure did embrace every minute 😊 He even went on one of my library field trips for a science fair project! The things grandparents do for their littles ☺️
Simple things. Everyday moments.
Setting up and running through the sprinkler. Building forts. Making racetracks out of almost anything. Pretending Hair Salon or Barber Shop.
Tying the sled to the only 4-wheel drive car in the family and taking us all over the field. Riding tractors and horses. Raking leaves only to be jumped in. Learning to nail a nail with a hammer or screw a screw with a screwdriver. Learning how to find the very best flashlight. Wrapping presents in Pringles cans and other disguises 😂
The importance of eye contact and listening. Genuine relationships with the Hardee’s crew, who are faithful!
American Girl Teas. Nascar Races. Dirt Track racing. Grandparents day at the Zoo.
Going to church with them. Opening the hymnal and singing with them. Opening the Bible with them. Finding out their favorite Bible verses and Hymns.
Wheel of Fortune. Grand ole Opry. Andy Griffith. Petticoat Junction. Beverly Hillbillies. Green Acres. Leave it to Beaver. Father Knows Best.
Storytelling. Tired and worn Hands. Time. Play. Care. Being Present.
There are so many simple yet big heart moments…
To end today, let me share a very BIG life lesson I learned in the hallways of my Grandma’s memory care facility. It’s mind blowing, so hold onto your brains! Just kidding! It is very important though:
When it comes to a room full of “memory-loss” patients, you cannot decipher the CEOs from the Custodian, Owner from the Servers, Customer Service from Cashier from Stocker from Bagger, Boss from employee, Doctor from Physicians Assistant from Nurse Practitioner from Nurse’s Aid from Registered Nurse, and so. As my Mom always says, “It all goes back in the box.” The really incredible thing about this life lesson, is that I have no clue who was who, as far as their occupation, but I do know who they were at that moment. At that moment, there was a sweet gentle man who liked playing with cords and wires, and he commented on my mom’s smile and that it brightened his day. I know a spunky adorable tiny lady who one day invited me in and welcomed me to her Sunday school class, a few minutes later she told us she was afraid she was having some kind of breakdown, and then couldn’t stop giggling in a cute little girlish way. I know a tiny little grandma, what everybody called her 😊, who knew the value of a good meal, and literally licked her plate clean.
Today, I encourage you to journey back down your Road of Remember. Think about the people, the experiences, and the lessons that have molded you to be who you are today. It’s not selfish. It’s important work, for yourself and for the mark you want to leave behind. The things you remember, may just point you to something that you have been missing, or pushing away, or just ignoring because “there’s no time.” Make time! Pause. Breathe. Close your eyes. Remember. It’s healthy. It’s healing. And who knows you might remember a memory that you want to pass on… don’t miss it!
Life Book of the week: “Wilfrid Gordon McDonald Partridge” by Mem Fox. It’s a picture book. Honestly, you have no excuse not to read this book, even if you just go read it at the bookstore or library. So I assign you to do this 😂 The story is about a little boy that lives beside “the old people’s home,” and he knows everyone there!
