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Peaceful Rest
“You can eat all the kale. Buy all the things. Lift all the weights. Take all the trips. Eliminate all negativity. Wash your face. Be productive. But if you don’t rest your soul in Jesus, you’ll never find peace and purpose.” – Unknown We can vote, and yes, we should. We CAN. I’ve had what my Paw-Paw would call the “creeping crud” this week. Covid tests are negative. And I am proudly fully vaccinated. So resting and weathering this one out. But today’s post is short and sweet. And with a little help from some of my favorite YouTube/podcast/Patreon people, I hope this video will encourage you as it did…
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All You had to do was Ask
“God kept me close and gave me space all at the same time: to ask the questions, to express my anger, to tell him I didn’t understand. He didn’t, and doesn’t, hold it against me or use it to manipulate me into belief. God used this horrific, awful, inexcusable thing that happened to me to replace my shallow faith with one that could, and did, persist through anything. It doesn’t mean the pain hurts less, or that my disability doesn’t still affect my life every single day. It doesn’t even mean the PTSD and the anxiety and fear come any less often. It does mean when those things come and…
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Listen. Hear. Speak.
Hurting someone can be as easy as throwing a stone in the sea. But do you have any idea how deep that stone can go? Do we really realize the profound effect of our words and actions? This question has been on my mind repeatedly over the last couple of weeks. The election is closing in and here in North Carolina the commercials and campaigning is like never before! The seemingly eagerness to spread lies and misinformation is downright despicable! I cringe and my hands tremble as I write this sentence. A few weeks ago I wrote about we are in a crisis for truth. Then I wrote about Word…
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Look. See. Ask. Receive.
Everybody has your heartbeat… Every sunset is a stained glass window… Every park bench is a pew…. There’s a sanctuary everywhere that I go… When my eyes are open… I see you. I see You, JJ Heller What a week it has been. I am struggling for words honestly. The devastation and destruction that Hurricane Helene brought is absolutely heart shattering. It’s been a week of holding your breath just hoping an update will come from family and friends. And yet, still waiting. Years of clean up ahead. People’s lives completely up ended. I have been thinking a whole lot about Noah and his family (hang with me – I…
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Word vs words
“The grass wither, the flowers fade. But the Word of our God stands forever.” Isaiah 40:8 I come to you today with lots of words swirling in my head, but truly wanting the Word to break through the swirling. So I am going to give it a whirl 😂 I have stated that I am not going to get political in my writing, and I am going to stick to this, not endorsements here. However, I am going to share a few quotes that have been triggering emotions in me that I’ve not quite ever had to the degree I am experiencing this week (election season). I will even be…
- "Life" Books, Adoption, Aunt-ing, Children, Family, Friends & Neighbors, GRANDparents, Grief, Memories, Mommy, Siblings, Single Parenting
Savoring the Memories
“Give me the WILD children with their BARE feet and SPARKLING eyes! The RESTLESS, churning climbers. The wild ones using their outside voices, singing ALL THE WAY HOME. Give me the WONDER-FILLED glorious mess makers DREAMING of mountains and mud, and aching to RUN through the field of stars.” Nicolette Sowder Just this week my mom and I were talking about how much we miss children. Where I grew up there was plenty of space for children to play and explore, it was a child’s dream come true. I can say this because that’s exactly how I felt there. If children were not at our house, we were still close…
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Age to Age
Have you ever heard of Demas in the Bible? Let me just take you down memory lane for a moment. Back to my eighth grade retreat, while attending a Christian school. I’ve established myself as a homebody, so it would be safe for you to assume that camps, retreats, group trips, most field trips… these were not times of excitement in abundance as it was for most of my peers. However, eighth grade retreat was going to be different. The speaker was going to be our Young Life area director and I was at least excited for what he had to teach us! The whole other camp experience I could…
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Passion: Curiosity
I have no special talents – I am only passionately curious! – Albert Einstein Asking questions… Searching for the answers, or waiting for the response… Truly listening, and genuinely soaking in the answer… I admit I tend to be more of a thinker than a verbalizer, kind of surprise with all the words I type, but these words are my thoughts, most of the time, fresh and new to even me as I type them! My conversation style tends to be more in the form of questions than statements (unless I’m in a quick-witted mood- and even then I tend to ask sarcastic questions 😏). I am reading a book…
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There Is No Choice
Warning: *It is August and there are already children having to be hospitalized for RSV, pneumonia, and other respiratory illness. This is not their fault, rather it is the wider community that surrounds them that needs to be held accountable! Yes, I am slightly perturbed at the “adults” in this world at the moment.* Personally, I know two children who have been hospitalized with pneumonia in the past month. Their stays were short compared to some, because of their parents being acutely aware of their health and taking quick action. Never hesitate when a child is involved! As the above quote hits the nail on the head for people who…
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Crisis of Truth
A few reasons I share this today: The excitement of guiding children to learn to open themselves up to a vast array of experiences, however that may look or sound or feel, is overwhelming to me. To get to know them, the way they learn, and then engage them – whether it be through books, or pictures, or music, or items from a certain place to explore with our senses – these moments are untouchable, irreplaceable. For me as a kid magazines kept my attention. Both sets of grandparents gave me a subscription to a magazine every year – Highlights and American Girl – were the two I chose. And…
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All is Grace.
Hi, I am Anna. A sinner saved by the amazing grace of my Heavenly Father. I share the above excerpt from Frederick Buechner’s book for a couple reasons: 1. I believe AA does some incredible work. (There are some things that must be set aside to see the GREATER work being done!) 2. Alcoholism is real, very real. Alcohol is very real also, we don’t get alcoholism or alcoholics without alcohol. 3. I want to make clear that today’s post is going to be me pouring out the intentions of where my heart, mind, and soul lands with the subject of alcohol. By no means am I passing judgement, or…
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Storm Warning!
Let me start off by saying, I love a good rainstorm! Some of my favorite days and best memories are days with my parents, grandparents, brother, kids I kept, my little girl, my niece and nephew and cousins, just dancing in the rain or simply watching the rain and clouds pass over. Sweet front porch sitting, one of Lucy’s and my niece and nephew’s favorite activities when they were little 😊 Tornados… Hurricanes… these come with the wonderful place I call home. I have watched and lived through many. Loss is always a part of storms and the news coverage and stories afterwards. In 2018, there were two hurricanes that hit,…
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A Resting Place.
How do you release your grip on something that is so close to your heart, soul, and holds years of memories? Letting go of the Physical, Holding on to the Memorable. Loosening our grip on material things, especially when there are memories attached, I find is an extremely difficult thing to do. It is bigger than the place or the object, it’s the things and the people we remember that are connected. This summer is the first summer in my entire life that I have not visited the lake house pictured above. For many reasons my parents decided to sell this lake home this year, and as hard as it…
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Learning Alongside
I’m Back! Today, I have some statistics and some general ideas that I have gathered in my love of history and longings for my generation and the generations to come. I’m not one to dwell on the past or look to far into the future, I tend to focus on the present or near future, simply because life has dealt me experiences to remember this is all we are guaranteed. That’s a fact and a discipline that doesn’t come naturally to my body or brain. However, I do love seeing where we have come from and the hope of where we can go and the impact we can have. Disclaimer:…
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Today, I take a pause
A week of appointments, new information to digest, and time to breathe is what is needful for today. Be back next week 😉 Life Book of the Week: The Velveteen Rabbit, by Margery Williams
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When My Heart Breaks
Let’s start today with my question of the day 😊 Are you ready? Strap down those thinking caps! What makes your heart beat fast? What can make your blood boil? What gets under your skin so much that you want to take action right away? What news sparks a fire in you that makes you want to change or influence change? There are so many causes, groups, needs, charities, ministries in the world, and the greater majority are for the good. Yet you are only one person, with one body, one mind, limited amount to give, and limited amount of energy to work with. What I am asking of myself…
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The Definition of “Leader,” Please
“The challenge of Leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.” Jim Rohn Today I come to you with a question, what makes someone a good candidate to be a leader? I realize the word “candidate” sparks political thoughts, but I want us to think about all leaders. The breakdown of leadership in many areas of our lives, nation, and world have gone on since the beginning of time. We now just have the luxury of 24/7 media coverage and…
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Migraine.
I am constantly torn between: “I can’t let this illness ruin my life” and “I have to listen to my body and rest.” I recently was scrolling through Pinterest and came across this quote. I love collecting quotes, they are excellent reminders that we all are in this together- past, present, and future- we all contribute something! June is Migraine Awareness Month. And the above quote hits so close to home that it brings me to tears. Two quotes that came underneath as “suggested”: “Never get a chronic illness. It’s really inconvenient for other people.” “‘But you did it yesterday.’ Yes, and today I can’t move.” All three of these…
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Oh my Soul, It is Well!
It is well, it is well, with my soul. The story of this hymn is one of heartbreak, deep grief, and great loss. Mr. Spafford wrote these words while grieving the loss of four his daughters in a shipwreck. “Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, It is Well!” I’ve never known life outside of living with chronic illness, just a fact. Diagnosed at four months, but I am sure my parents would agree asthma and reflux were with me from the start! Another fact is that the words “heal” and “cure” have always been words I associate with Heaven, not earth. It is just one of the…
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To You with Empty Arms
You will never look back on life and think, “I spent too much time with my kids.” Unknown Before you begin reading today, I would just ask you to study the above picture. It’s the good ole’ 80’s florals and fringe on the umbrella. Most likely a new little red wagon. I say new because we had that wagon up until last year! (a good 40 years!) My parents have an inflatable pool and shovels ready, and it also looks like they have the bag packed for the day. My brother on the other hand doesn’t seemed to convinced on this sand and sun thing. However, if you know my…
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To YOU…
No one fights harder or loves harder than a pair of sibs. bestoflife.com As I think about the school year coming to a close for many children, I have been reflecting on a few thoughts. First, what my “end of school” years were like. The picture and quote today pretty much sums this one up well. Summers were filled with family, the lake, the beach, very rarely much else. It was a time for a big deep breath, at least for a month or two. Second, I have been thinking about all the students, parents, teachers, and all those in between, who don’t really ever get “off.” Today, I would…
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Come Unto Me and Rest
I missed writing last week, but I’m back and have a story to share. If you are familiar with anxiety and/or panic attacks, then you will most likely be all too familiar with the story I am about to tell. If you are not, either personally or have witnessed someone close to you, then let this be a learning post. Let me set the scene: I am sitting at a restaurant with my family, which rarely happens these days due to getting used to take out. I am overjoyed that my mom, dad, brother, sister in law, niece and nephew are all at one table and sharing a meal. It’s…
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High Five for the Mundane!
Give people high fives for getting out of bed. Being a person is hard sometimes. Kid President Getting out of bed. Being human. For some people that’s it. They have no second thought, no hesitation, no shaking. They are up and going with seemingly no effort. For some, getting out of bed and facing being a human, in a human body, in a human world, takes great effort. There are lots of reasons and circumstances – health, relationships, home environment, financial, loss, etc. I tend to have more days that require great effort. It’s how I am wired, woven together, and it’s my story. Health, loss, and life events have…
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Life Markers
“You normally have to be bashed about a bit by life to see the point of daffodils, sunsets and uneventful nice days.” Alain de Botton Oh how I love this quote I discovered recently! Not until life is interrupted do we slow down to appreciate the lilies of the field and the birds of the air… I have mentioned in previous posts that by nature I am an avid documenter, on the edge of being an information hoarder! 😂 Truly! I love to keep articles on news, places I’d like to visit or places I have gone and want to go back to- it’s a issue I am learning to…
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Broken Pieces
Let’s start today’s post with some lyrics: " Look at all the broken pieces all around me places deep inside my soul I don't know what's real, can't help the way I'm feeling All I know is I'm alone. I need a rescue, I need a reckoning From all the things I've done and have been don't to me I need a revival, I need recovery I need to know that there's an answer for what's missing cause something's missing Turn up all the music, something to amuse me silence is a lonely friend if you really knew me, could you really love me save me from this loneliness It…
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Miss Anna…
“The soul is healed by being with children.” – Fyodor Dostoyevsky The above quote could very easily be my life “phrase.” Whether it’s been a good day, hard day, sick day, tiring day… bring a child into the picture and my whole world is made brand new! I have been having these days that feel like whirlwinds – you know those days that you wake up thinking, maybe just maybe I can get these few things done today, but as soon as your feet hit the ground, its like a tidal wave hits you, and everything you thought could happen is now swept out to sea, and you are flipping…
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Highs, Lows, and the Somewhere In Between
“‘Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson.’ Sincerely, Pete, Age 9” (Dear Pastor, by Bill Adler) I love kids! They get to the point, say what they mean, and ask questions. They have a limited knowledge, the things they do know all depends on who is active in their lives, and what is allowed/accepted by those in their lives. As infants they come to us as fragile delicacies to care for, to help mold, and to train and build up into children, teens, young adults. So that they may thrive as adults. The letter to this…
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Wacky and Wild Mail
13 ounces or less. The wonderfully wacky things you can mail! Last week I wrote about my love of good ole fashion snail mail, and included that I would write about when I did a “out of the box” mail camp with my niece. Well, I can usually pat myself on the back for documenting things with photos. However, I remember sweating and being stared down by a postal worker while I attempted this fun adventure with my then four year old niece, who by the way was and is an excellent child! I believe the worker was perturbed that my mom and I would engage in such silly business.…
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Smiles Delivered
“When I see a mailbox, I see a friend. I see something that can connect me to the people I love. I see an entity that can take my words and send them, in reliable snail speed, across the planet. Sure, email and social media are faster, but they’ve got nothing on the magic of a physical object arriving in my hands from thousands of miles away.” The Year I became Snail Mail Superstar by Sara McNally Oh what joy it is to find happy mail among the bills and advertisements, can I get an Amen? I can remember vividly as a child receiving mail. We had a post office…
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Be Alert. Gather the Facts.
I laugh at this photo because if only the parenting know-it-alls knew what was coming for parents, would they have been so hard on my parents for allowing a black and white antenna tv in my room when I was sick for long periods of time? I mean how much could a little Lambchop or Skidamarink looping up and down with periods of black and grey lines do to me? And pacis, they already gave up on those – I found those as soon as they tried to hide them! (fun fact- never had to have braces!) Recently I had a conversation with a friend about the amount of “alert”…
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Doesn’t Anybody Know?
A friend shared this song with me not long after Jesus scooped Lucy up into His arms. And I want to share the lyrics today with you before writing out my thoughts ❤️ I see the lights in the house and the people inside Clearing dishes from the table like it's a regular night And the ones on 12th Street out for an evening walk How can they keep moving when the world just stopped Doesn't anybody know I still run errands still answer the calls Still sit down for dinner as if I'm hungry at all And the election campaigners still come to the door But there's no use…
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A Miracle Starts
The pictures above were hand crafted by a parent (I babysat for) grown to be true friend. I always admired her artwork in her home, and now I have my very own! Ask my parents- these are not to be touched or removed from my sight! Seriously! The one on the left is from a picture taken just a few days before my Lucy ran ahead to Jesus, with the hymn, “I need Thee every hour,” which I sang to her since she was born. The one on the right is taken from a picture right after her finalization hearing, almost exactly two months before, with the words “wonderfully made,”…
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You’ve Got Mail
I love Valentine’s Day! Now I know this holiday can be a love or strongly disliked day, so let me explain… I love valentine’s day, quite possibly, for the reason that most parents don’t like it and are quite possibly “over it” today. For me it’s the excitement of children, little mailboxes built by little hands, crafts, and hand written cards, and school parties (although I didn’t see or hear of many this year 😕 has our world banned these too?!?) Now all the adult hoopla, I could absolutely live the rest of my life without! Too much pressure and too much drama! You see, I was the kid that…
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Clean Underwear
“Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you are in an accident and they have to cut you out of your clothes.” That’s what my grandparents would say. Or if not an accident, you never know when you might get stuck in traffic, or have to go to the hospital, and the list went on. Matter of fact, my grandma was so sure this was going to happen that she always had an extra pair with her in her purse! Why do I share this? Simply because I was watching the View this week and this came up in conversation, and it hit me – this really was a…
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A Tangled Web
“Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when we first practice to deceive!” – Sir Walter Scott (also made famous recently by Alex Murdaugh) Deceive: to cause to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid. Lie: to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive; to create a false or misleading impression. Can we start by agreeing that there is no in-between- our words are either truth or a lie. Half truths, lie with a bit of truth mixed in, ultimately is a lie. If you disagree, then you disagree and we will leave it at that for today’s post. Truth is, we all have lied. We…
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Enough.
Have you ever had the thought, “what else?” or “how much more?” Responsibilities, health, to do list, etc. You are spreading yourself thin and then all the sudden it’s as if your body screams, “ENOUGH! Stop! I can’t carry you around one more minute unless you slow down and rest!” If you HAVE been in this place, I hope this post gives you hope from someone in the enough-stop-rest place at this very moment. January is both a joyous and emotional hard month for my soul. So many memories of new beginnings and firsts for me as a Mommy and welcoming my Lucy. And also welcoming many beginnings of new…
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You are Loved.
Eighteen days into 2024… And what a year it has already been! Maybe your beginning of the year hasn’t been eventful, or maybe be it has been very eventful, even milestone marking eventful! I know a brave little girl who has made tremendous literal steps in her journey this new year, and I am over the moon for her and her family – many prayers spent on knees, tears, hard perseverance and truly leaning hard on Jesus has brought them this far and HE will continue to supply and sustain, I truly believe!!! New life has come. And some have gone. Good news has been reported. And tough news has…
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Walking in Truth
I’m back! 😊 I had to take a pause last week to digest some life and celebrate my little girl! I am still a bit foggy, so hang in there with me today! My new year started off with celebrating the coming together in marriage of one of the kids, now a man, and his now wife! I cannot express how honored I have been to be able to witness these “kids,” now mature adults, grow and seek God’s will for their lives! In 3 John 1:4, it says, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in truth.” This captures my every emotion! I…
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If my Life had it’s own Playlist
In celebration of today being my birthday, I thought I would share a sliver of my life’s playlist. Yes, I admit I do have a playlist titled “If my Life had a Playlist.” It has actually been an insightful list to add to along the years, and then to be able to look back on and see the life lived in different seasons and what songs I added at each mile marker. Here it goes! I’ve chosen twelve songs (out of 184) to share for today. I’ll leave you with a bonus, Rich Mullins, “Screen Door.” Life Book of the Week: A Severe Mercy, by Sheldon Vanauken
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A Legacy of Loving Children
If it weren't for kids have you ever thought, there wouldn't be no Santa Claus Or look what the stork just brought (not sure about this line 😂) Thank God for Kids. And we'd all live in a quiet house, without Big Bird or Mickey Mouse. And Kool-Aid on the couch. Thank God for Kids. Thank God for Kids there's magic for a while. A special kind of sunshine in a smile. Do you ever stop to think or wonder why, The nearest thing to Heaven is a child. Daddy, how does this thing fly? And a hundred other where's and why's, You don't really know but you try. Thank…
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A Love Breaks Through
Talk about a winter the world had never known, Talk about a silence that hardened up the soil; No more life left in Eden, but You knew the time would come... 'Cause You were growing up a family that You would call your own, And through a fragile people the Light of Life would come, And when it seemed like we'd never see Sprint, Heaven gave a King! Like an Amaryllis, blooming a Christmas, When everything was cold and dark Your love broke through and You shined With the brilliance of summer, Right in the middle of winter! You came surprising the night, Like a Christmas Amaryllis... Here I am…
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If we knew…
Mary, did you know that your baby boy Would one day walk on water? Mary, did you know that your baby boy Would save our sons and daughters? Did you know that your baby boy Has come to make you new? This child that you delivered, will soon deliver you. Mary, did you know that your baby boy Will give sight to a blind man? Mary, did you know that your baby boy Will calm the storm with his hand? Did you know that your baby boy Has walked where angels trod, And when you kiss your little baby You've kissed the face of God? Mary did you know? The…
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Reminders that She was Here
Somedays I see her in every moment. And then somedays I must search, as though she is playing hide and seek, just like I would imagine her as a five year old would be doing. The arrival of Lucy was long-awaited. The running into Jesus’ arms was fast! The in-between was everything I could have ever hoped for and more! I can’t say “gone too soon,” because I know and firmly believe that Jesus doesn’t do things “too soon.” Arrivals and departures are in His hands. In my human nature, yes I have times of questioning and frustration. But the only thing that brings me peace: His promises and laying…
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Choosing to See a Beautiful Day
"I don't wanna act too high and mighty, cause tomorrow, I may fall on my face. Thank you for sunshine Thank you for rain Thank you for joy Thank you for pain It's a beautiful day." (Song: Beautiful Day, Trinix, Rashawn & Jermaine Edwards) I have got to be honest with those of you reading today. I had a really hard time rolling out of bed this morning. I opened my eyes to see Lucy’s picture on the pillow right beside me, (I have her pictures on a pillow case because of my horrible eye sight- otherwise I cannot see her pictures during the night/when I don’t have my glasses…
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Taking a Pause 😉
See you next week!
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High Five for the Mundane!
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Somedays…
Today is a someday that I must admit, I’ve got nothing. September and October have been a juggling circus of attempting to stay healthy as possible in my family. “Healthy as possible,” means managing chronic illnesses and attempting to avoid any viral or bacterial infections that could escalate any of those illnesses. Somedays, some weeks, and some months this is harder than others. And that’s where I land today. I just got to be honest and say, I have nothing to give today. EXCEPT I boldly say to you: if you are in a “I have nothing” place today, I encourage you to: sit still with me. And if you…
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Unrepeatable!
Do you ever just take a minute at look at the palm of your hand? Do you realize that absolutely no one else will ever make the exact same handprint that you are looking at? All of the handprint art that children make, are 100% one of a kind! Unrepeatable! In the adoption process your fingerprints especially become an essential part of your home study. Unless they just can’t retrieve your fingerprints, which is possible! One of the first things they do when you are born is make handprints and footprints to document who you are, who you belong to, and all the important information about your birth. I, personally,…
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Stronger than Darkness
“Praise the Lord, His mercy is more. Stronger than darkness, new every morn. Our sins they are many, His mercy is more.” His Mercy is More, by Matt Boswell and Matt Papa ( Album: Getty Kids Hymnal: Family Hymn Sing) “When the cacophony (a chaotic mixture) of universal distress unsettles us, remind us that we are but small and finite creatures… justice and mercy, healing and redemption, are your great labors.” Daily Liturgy from “For Those Flooded by Too Much Information” (Every Moment Holy, Rabbit Room Press) What a week it has been! Devastation. Disorder. Many times this week I have sat completely still, not being able to move, just…
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What Will Today Teach Us?
Do you believe that births, deaths, sickness, crisis, tragedies, life-altering moments, life-giving moments have something in common? Would you agree with me that when you experience any one of these life moments, there are opportunities to learn at least one new thing? I don’t know how you feel or think about trying to glean a lesson or a life skill from life experiences and events, but maybe you can give me a few minutes to provide you with what I am trying to write today. Before I start, I want to make it clear that these life events for me have not always immediately dropped the lesson or new perspective…
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Who Knows What the Children May Become?
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn. If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight. If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy. If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty. If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient. If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to have confidence. If a child lives with praise, he learns appreciation. If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice. If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith. If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself. If a child lives with acceptance…
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Three Million New Blood Cells
” Have you ever watched them (children) watch? Their mouths may hang open; they’re not, like adults, aware of themselves- they’re only aware of what they’re watching… And your child is in process, as a person. Every eight days he gets a new layer of skin. Every eight years every cell in his body has become new. Look at that child right now: since this time yesterday he has three million new blood cells.” Children are Wet Cement, Anne Ortlund If the above quote doesn’t stir something inside of you, then my words today may not make sense either. When it comes to babies and children, I am a firm…
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Choosing to See
“Raise me again to health with a heightened sense of thankfulness for the unmerited gift of well-being…” Every Moment Holy, “Liturgy for a Sick Day” Every morning I receive a “Liturgy of the Day” from the Every Moment Holy App on my phone. The above liturgy came this morning. I woke up with a migraine – I believe in God’s Faithfulness. You can make your own judgements, but I stand by my belief. A couple weeks ago I took a much needed “brain pause.” A few things led to this pause: summer weather rubbing me wrong- not my greatest health season- which makes life challenging at times, longing for Lucy…
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These things you don’t forget…
“Society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.” Greek Proverb The above quote has been among my favorites for a long while. I believe this because I have been blessed to have had multiple men and women who have prayed, encouraged, invested their time in my life. On our back porch last month we had a small glimpse of seeds being “planted” that were not intentionally planted, yet they fell on good soil and bloomed. Let me give you a little background on our soil. Before we plant anything in our back porch area, we have to dig a big hole…
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Brain Pause
This week I will be taking a pause from writing for a few reasons, but the most important reason is that it is what is needful and healthy. I believe wholeheartedly that Jesus gives me “speed bumps” in life to slow my pace, especially when I am not seeing that I need to slow down. So I am breathing deeply, unclenching my fists, and fighting the urge to check off my to do list. (I would love some prayer in doing these things, if you feel led 😊) The picture and scripture today, I have on my desk as a reminder that He does not create confusion, but peace, the…
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Play School. What more do we really need?
Today, I have a somewhat weighty question for you: What does the world need more of? What does our nation need? What do we need? I’ll be honest with you. I am a history lover, and in the past elections I have watched most all coverage of all the debates. In the past I have been an advocate for children watching important historical events. No, I wasn’t the child who was excited to turn in an assignment the next day. I am just a believer that children should know what’s going on and who our nation’s leaders are (and local leaders). However, I have grown appalled at the conduct that…
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Schultute, Read on 😊
Schultute is a “back to school” tradition originating in Germany in the 1800s. The tradition was started by grandparents and/or godparents, and would happen on the first day of school all across Europe. Each school would have a certain tree or either a metal tree in the schoolyard for grandparents/godparents to come and hang school cones for their children to welcome them back for the first day of school. Originally the cones were made of paper and would be decorated according to the child’s interests, along with the child’s name. The cones would be filled with candy, school supplies, small toys, and even clothing. One of my favorite things is…
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Standing Still
Do you ever feel like life is speeding past you, but you are at a stand still? It could be because of circumstances, brain fog, overstimulated, over scheduled, grief, happiness, choices to be made, creating moment memories, sickness – whatever life is throwing at you at the time, you simply are in a zone, time is standing still while the lives around you continue on. Sometimes when you are in the hard moments, you feel as if you are hanging by a thread. Sometimes in the good moments, you feel as if you never want to let go of the very moment you’re in. Lately I have been bouncing between…
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Conversations with my Jesus
Prayer. A conversation with God that never ends, at least on God’s end. As humans we tend to shut it off when we don’t see the “need,” this is a big lie we tell ourselves. It is a conversation compiled of words, silence, tears, walking, kneeling, laying down, sitting, deep breathing, cries. Words often spoken: please, help, why, come, near, save, wisdom, need, want. Lately I have been reflecting back on being a kid and how the culture has progressively gotten to be extremely fast paced, and now is constantly pushing a narrative of something or someone being “better.” As my mom wisely reminds me, “everyone is equal at the…
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Thoughts of a Photographer
Let me start with a fun story: A couple weeks ago, my niece, my mom and I were out shopping and the subject of photography came up. Particularly how images can be photoshopped/made to look the way you want them to instead of how they actually are in reality. I honestly was encouraged that my niece had noticed this and had the courage to bring it up in conversation. Also, I found that, for her age, she had quite the eye for photo art! We talked about what she didn't like about this kind of photography, she basically said you can tell it is fake and photo shopped and why…
- "Life" Books, Adoption, Being "Single", Chronic Illness, Friends & Neighbors, GRANDparents, Mommy, My Little, Single Parenting
What does it mean to leave home?
Let’s start today with a question: What does it mean for someone to “leave home?” I really want you to take time and think about this one. Think about what defines leaving home physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, financially, relationships and so on. Think, think, think, as Pooh Bear would say, before continuing. Why in the world would I bringing this to your attention today? First, I have overheard some comments made recently about adult children living with their parents. Second, I happen to be an adult daughter living with my parents. (which I will address the word “child” being used after adult, below) Third, I had to do some real…
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Soul Share
Today, allow me to share with you some friends I have met along my journey in the past few years. If you have been reading along for a bit, you have most likely gathered that we moved from my childhood home in early 2020, right before COVID hit hard. We moved to our lake/vacation home not too far away, while our new house was being built. Side note: Thank you Jesus for providing a lake home all these years, because COVID plus not having space that was familiar would have made this move incredibly harder. Anyways, the closest store for miles is a Dollar General, which we depended on for…
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No Matter What, CELEBRATE!
Last night I revisited a video on my phone, one that I visit often. It is of one of Lucy’s last really good days. She is alert and responsive, seemingly in very little pain and not struggling with her breathing. Indeed she was very weak, but she was still strong enough to engage with us. I took this video to remember the moment and the day that she had just had. Her cousins had come to visit as well as aunts and uncles. You could feel her peace and contentment, even with all the giggling and playing happening all around her, that almost seemed to put her at peace more.…
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When Children Give You the Lesson
“Please just trust me and obey!” Oh how many times have I heard myself sound like a broken record repeating this sentence. Just wishing and hoping, maybe just maybe, this time will be the time it clicks! There are a few instances that I can remember distinctly having said this and then being disappointed that the child or children I was keeping just couldn’t obey a simple task. One sticks with me the most, honestly because God hit me over the head good with a life lesson. But first, the story. It’s been a few years now, but I remember that I had asked this child to sit at the…
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Lemons… Curveball… And the Wringer…
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life throws you a curveball, hit it out of the park. When life puts you through the wringer… Have you had enough of this one liners yet? I have! Someone once said, “I’m not a rainbow shooter,” meaning that they were not going to be making things pretty for the sake of the feelings and emotions of themselves and others. Shooting rainbows is exhausting, and cannot be a long-term reality. We need to leave the rainbows up to God and remember why he places them in the sky. As a reminder of a very faithful promise to Noah and his family. (this…
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Living in the daily Indeed!
Indeed! was born out of the statement and response: Christ is Risen! He is Risen Indeed! In my home growing up this was a daily morning greeting. The reminder and the response was necessary, because honestly, nobody is 100% of the time ready to jump out of the bed and get to work every single day. But if you know, believe, and live in the “indeed” He IS absolutely risen, then there is a reason to put forth effort to make Him known and honor Him with your daily practices, routine, and to-dos. My little girl’s hospital and diagnosis anniversary is nearing, as well as her running ahead to Jesus…
- "Life" Books, Aunt-ing, Children, Consider This..., Friends & Neighbors, GRANDparents, Pass it On...
Diapers to Diamonds and Beyond
Time. Somedays is seems like forever ago. Then somedays it feels like just yesterday. Children make my heart come alive, the bursting with joy, cannot hide how happy I am, kind of alive! Join me as I share a few glimpses of life recently, and why this is so. This summer I have to honor of attending two weddings of children, now young adults, that I cared for when they were little. Do you know how many emotions comes with this? A LOT! I am incredibly proud of who they have grown to be and who they have chosen to continually follow and depend on! I am also very encouraged…
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Self-Love: Has It Gone Too Far?
Sologamy or Self-marriage: “the act of symbolic expression of self-love and an affirmation of deep, meaningful relationship with one’s self.” Yep. Let this one soak in. Okay, I’m fired up! I have been trying to talk myself down since reading this news story, but I just can’t let this one go. To be clear, I am not casting any judgement, nor do I have the slightest clue what life is like for the women in this story. However, I am a single woman in my 30s and this story bothers me for many reasons. A little more about this new concept: most of these women are have complete wedding ceremonies-…
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Simply Prepared
Let me start off with asking you a question: Have you ever had a day, a week, a month, or a year, that you have to keep reminding yourself, just do today? Otherwise you think you might explode! If you have, welcome my friend. I hope that you find this post helpful and hopeful in some way today! Now, let me lead with a few facts about myself before we dive in. 1. The following “advice” (not sure if that’s what I should call it- but I’m going with it for today😂) comes from my life of live, learn, make mistakes, get back up again experiences and self-educated research. 2.…
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Five Things I Want My Brother to Remember
Today, I will be writing about five things I want my brother to always remember. As you read I pray that either you will be encouraged to reach out to your sibling, or reflect on your childhood, or the environment you are providing for the children in your life at this very moment. With this in mind, let’s jump right in! 😊 Growing up with you as my brother, I wouldn’t have it any other way! There is no other “childhood” that I would or could imagine that could possibly be any better! You were and are my personal one man comedy entertainment, and you don’t even mean to be…
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Where’s the Village?
ALERT: Searching for multigenerational villages investing in the lives of children! Anyone who sees or identifies one, praise Jesus! There IS HOPE!!!! 😊 First of all, let me establish I am a big believer in watching the news. Honestly this has come from my multigenerational influences. Grandparents telling stories of how they would gather around the radio to hear the news – and then being able to see the advances in technology, into 24/7 news channels for them, could be compared to going from no phone to a iPhone for teens today. They were in awe and constantly engaged. It’s just the way technology advances and has influence on us.…
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A Legacy of Playing Together
"Our Sunday school is over. And we are going home. Goodbye, Goodbye. Be always kind and true. Goodbye, we will always be kind and true." Did your grandparents sing this song? My grandma sang this song almost every time we left my grandparents house! She always had little songs that we weren’t sure if she made up or if they were actual songs, but she was very convincing. (The Sunday School song is an actual song 😂 I did my research!) My grandma would have been ninety-four yesterday. She ran ahead to Jesus in 2012 just a couple months before my Paw-Paw, her husband. She grew up with four brothers,…
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Blood on our Hands
Today, my heart is heavy. My mind is in advocate mode. My body is tense and is perturbed. And I am being nudged to speak up. I must and I will. No politics. Just facts and a few questions that we must ask ourselves. “We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, ensure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.” -Preamble, The Constitution of the United States of America Let me start by defining some…
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Household Blueprints
What were (or are) the values, virtues, rules in your home that hold the greatest importance? I have a love for words, so let me define these three for us. Values: to rate or scale in usefulness, importance, or general worth. Evaluate. Appreciate. Respect. Virtue: a commendable quality or trait. Character. Honesty. Integrity. Morality. Righteousness. Decency. Rules: a prescribed guide for conduct or action. Blueprint. Guideline. We hear this words used over and over, and honestly I get the meanings confused. Here is how I think of it: If I desire to live a life full of virtues, then this will define what my core values must be, and when…
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The Legacy of Quality Time
Today, I have the privilege and honor to celebrate my Paw-Paw. Yesterday was his birthday, and if he was still here on this side of heaven, he would have celebrated his 93rd birthday! Although I miss him greatly, I know we will see him again. Just as my brother said to him on one of his last visits, “Until tomorrow, Paw-Paw.” We are only promised this moment, and he indeed lived in the moment. He took the events that life threw at him and he made the most of the moments. Just a quick snapshot of some of those life events: 1. his dad passed away when my Paw-Paw was…
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Children Matter. 100%. Period.
I come to you today, as a broken Mommy with a brain full of grief fog. Please bear with me! First, I cannot and will not ignore the loss of children’s lives this week. Never is it okay to get numb to the fact that CHILDREN are having their lives cut short, in any sort of way! When it’s intentionally done at the hands of adults, I can’t even come up with a strong enough word. I grieve with these families 100%. There absolutely has the be a change! Honestly, there has to be a lot of changes, not just politically or policy wise, but heart, soul, and mind change,…
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and then it was Spring!
Spring. Tulips. Buttercups (what we in the south call daffodils). Color. Pink. Yellow. Green. Orange. Blue. White. Easter. Hope. Promise. Children. Eggs. Laughter. Swings. Slides. Sand boxes. Chalk. What do you think of when you think or hear the word “SPRING?” The first things that come to mind for me, childhood core memories. The two metal swing sets we had in our yard. These were the metal swing sets that if you got to swinging a little too high, you started to feel the whole swing set start lifting out of the ground. Anybody remember these? Pretty much the only place that wouldn’t be blazing hot would be the swing…
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A Continuous Conversation
Happy Thursday! Tomorrow, I think, is one of the most fun holidays! St. Patricks Day, A.K.A. in our house, “Man under the leaf day,” because I couldn’t remember what it was called when I was little, so I re-named it 😊 As we do many things in our family. “Fat butter” = hunk of cheese. “Spagatical” = Sabbatical. Just to name a few… I just love any holiday that gets kids excited. Well come to think of it, I guess I’m a kid at heart because I get as excited as they do! One family that I kept years ago, the leprechauns would visit their house and would leave their…
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Happy 100th Birthday, Al-Paw!
Today, my grandfather would be 100! He passed away in 2018, at the age of 85, but left a lasting legacy, and that’s what I will be writing about today. First, let me tell you a little background history: I love my grandfather and I learned many things that I hold close and truly cherish for a lifetime! Yet, I would be painting a false picture if I didn’t share these two stories to set up a “snapshot” of our relationship. Possibly the moment he realized he may have met his match… 😂 So as I mentioned before he loved to watch and talk golf. We would usually visit this…
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We Need You!: A Letter to Our Kids
To the kids of yesterday, today, and tomorrow, The biggest thing I want you to remember is this: I am so glad you are here! You have more value than you will ever know! You are indeed LOVED beyond anything you can comprehend! You are needed and wanted in this world! Another big message I want you to remember: The progression of Technology is not your fault. You were simply born in the technology age. Your parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles, were alive to watch the crazy fast progress of the digital and media world, but you were born into the already rapidly growing tech age. You are the…
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What a Week!
Has it really only been a week since I last posted? It’s been a bit of a rough and tumble week. One of those weeks that each day you wake up and immediately think, “wow, Jesus has given me another day!” And that’s where you stay for the rest of the day. He has given me life and breath and doctors who know what they are doing, and I fully put my trust in the God who sees, hears, knows, and guides. I have mentioned that my lab results a few months back, showed some really low iron and ferritin levels. Short version: this past Monday I received an Iron…
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Presidential Lessons
Today I will start this post by being grateful for the little bit of energy that I have at the moment. I missed writing last week, but Covid decided it was time to strike, starting with me and unfortunately has spread to my parents. We are indeed very thankful for the work of many who have worked hard in their individual fields to research viruses, vaccines, medications, and kept us updated on protocols. We are grateful to all be vaccinated and due to multiple high risks, we all were prescribed Paxlovid, which has truly kept us from getting worse, and/or having to go to the hospital. And other than a…
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Shadows
Let’s jump right in today! I don’t know about you, but I am overcome with tremendous heartache for children today. It’s no secret that my heart is drawn towards children, so it comes as no surprise that I have a tendency to want to understand what is going on in their world. Granted some things I cannot fully understand, but when it comes to the matters and questions that we all face in our lives, it’s the heart that I want to know and the connection to what makes them believe what they believe. Why the world am I overcome with heartache? The majority of kids in the US have…
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Squeak, This one is for You!
Happy Thursday! January is a booming month for our family when it comes to birthdays! However, one that is coming up this next week is my niece’s, she will be 12! I truly cannot remember my life without her present, she is a life-loving firecracker, or as my Nannie would say, “cat-bird” (beats to her own drum 😊). Today I would like to share twelve statements that my heart desires for her to always know and keep close! I love you Squeak, Mots, Lil’ for Realz! 💕 NaNa 😊 Life Book of the Week: Every Cowgirl Needs Dancing Boots, by Rebecca Janni. One of Lilly’s favorites 😊 Today’s picture is…
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Two Minute Speeches
I recently watched a Parenting/Grandparenting Virtual Conference (yes, you read right. I would love to one day have Aunt/Uncle/GRANDfriends resource website/book/or part of this blog just for that someday, but as for now, I subscribe to Grandparenting sites and newsletters.). On this virtual conference there were a set of grandparents who gave some great suggestions for dinner family time. One was two minute speeches. Since this past weekend was a long weekend for my niece and nephew, they came to stay with us! We were able to celebrate my niece’s upcoming birthday and have an extended quality time with them. So at one of our meals, I suggested what I…
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If it’s not one thing…
I come to you today a bit weary, but grateful. You know the saying, “if it’s not one thing, it’s another”? Well, if you yourself have chronic illness, or you advocate for someone with chronic illness, you know the impact of this phrase. First, let me make very clear how grateful I am to live so close to an amazing medical hospital and clinics. This truly is by far an incredible gift! So many have to move to get closer to the help they need, or travel constantly for medical appointments. Second, I am grateful to have insurance that this hospital and clinics remain in network. This being said, the…
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Celebrations Together that We Lost…
Here I sit. Pondering birthdays and parties. Wondering what you would like and what you would be doing. And then it hits me like a tone of bricks. Never will I ever plan a birthday that we will share together. We celebrate you. Every year, all throughout the year. But there is no wish list. No surprises. No favorite foods. Would you like cake, cupcakes, cookies, donuts? No countdown calendars. No invitations. No list of friends to list and to invite. No squeals as you open presents. No fill in the blank thank you notes. No little huffs and puffs to blow out the candles. Just the memory of giving…
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What’s in a Year?
First, allow me to tell you what is happening in the picture above: headed to 1st soccer practice and final soccer practice. (wasn’t impressed with the cleats) Paci stayed with me until I was around 5 years old, and no I have no shame about it, and neither did I then. Everywhere I went I either had a pocketbook or a baby and diaper bag. Not much has changed 😂 I will be the elderly lady with a baby doll and pocketbook for sure when I am older, just in case you ever need to send out a silver alert 😊 New years is “upon us,” which I find to…
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Everyone Needs to be Held
Winter. What are the things that come to mind without a second thought? Take a minute and make note of these things. Personally, I am a cold-weather (some may see as obnoxious) lover! The way I see it is, if you’re cold you can put more layers on. But when you’re hot, there is only so many layers this world will allow you to take off. And when you are someone who can wear shorts and a t-shirt most of the year and still be warm, the cold is a wonderful gift! 😊 So this is the first thing that comes to mind for me! RELIEF 💕 The Christmas Season!…
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Can I get a Hallelujah?
“We are dazzled by arrays of Christmas lights. In recent years, seeing them through the eyes of my two young children has awakened something in me I’d lost to the subtle and insidious cynicism that often sets in with age: longing. Light is a wonderment because of its promise that there’s something brilliant veiled behind the darkness, waiting to be found, pulsing with life, on the brink of unfolding before us.” Jay Y. Kim, The Promised One: Advent Readings From Christianity Today 2022 I read this earlier this week, and I said, aloud to myself, “YES! That’s it!” Children are our magnificent examples of these words! If we only slow…
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The JOY of Buster
Tomorrow my nephew will be eight years old! And no his name is not really Buster, he just decided one day that would be his name, but it only lasted that one day! His name is John, but goes by Jack, Jackman, little man, Lucy’s Applesauce King 😊 Since he will be turning 8, allow me to share with you eight things that make Jack, uniquely and lovable JACK! 💕 And of course I wouldn’t be able to witness and be apart of Jack (and Lilly’s) life, if it were not for my brother and sister in law. So to them, Thank you for this enormous blessing! Life Book of…
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Swaddled No More!!!
Words we hear around Christmas: Longing. Expecting. Arrival. Welcoming. Receiving. Giving. These words have me really digging and searching this Christmas season. I’m not completely sure why, but I have a couple of thoughts, and I would just like to share them with you today. The picture for today’s post is the Christmas BEFORE Lucy arrived. I know I know, crazy prepared, maybe, but she was set for about five or six Christmas’s and birthdays 😊 That was IF i could keep it all out of reach 😂! (this was the “scene” for around 4 Christmas before she arrived). The “stuff” is not the point of what I am wanting…
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Days Gone By
A fun “Unless you know me well” fact: although this is my favorite weather and holiday season, this time of year tends to bring out “oops did I just say that out loud?” moments. I tend to be a bit sarcastic and a tad rebellious to the “assignments” of the world around us. A few examples: Thanksgiving: I love family and traditions, but when it comes to assignments of listing what you are thankful for… well, I was the kid who always listed the same things, Mom, Dad, Brother, Jesus, Friends. I was often perplexed by this assignment, especially in a Christian School, because why wasn’t this an assignment throughout…
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Asking for Help, Not the “Fixing” Kind
“I need to remember that I live in a culture of doers and fixers.” – Christine Rhyner, How Much Did You Pay for Her? Nailed it! This quote is from one of the many amazing books I read in “the waiting” for my little girl to arrive. I have to often remind myself of these words, and remember to give grace, because I need just as much grace. I tend to have a cut and dry outlook, not necessarily optimistic but not pessimistic. More of a “please don’t try to fix me or the situation that cannot be fixed, and I will do the same for you.” Give me Jesus,…
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every child. every parent. every family.
“I was in the grocery store, and a woman looked at me and my daughter. I’m white and my daughter is African-American. ‘Is that your daughter?’ she asked. I said, ‘Yes.’ ‘Her father must have been very dark,’ she said. I couldn’t resist answering, ‘I don’t know, I’ve never met the man.'” – Adopting on Your Own: The Complete Guide to Adopting as a Single Parent, by Lee Varon I have stories for days like the one above. Some that others have told me, and some of my very own. We humans tend to assume and can sometimes be very narrow-minded. We don’t mean to be, but it’s ingrained in…
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Life and Lollipop Toes
I am going to jump right in today, and lay out what I believe with great conviction and also find important to make clear before moving forward today… I know that was a lot to get to what I actually want to write today, but my hope was to make clear where I am coming from and where my heart is. November is National Adoption Month. So this month I hope to bring some light to some areas of adoption that may be new or a little less familiar to you. Today, I want to share one of the very real and heart breaking realizations I discovered and researched that…
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“She Keeps to Herself”
Before I start today’s writing, I would like to correct something I wrote last week. And that is, I wrote that there is an RSV vaccine, there is not. I fact checked myself, because I knew they had discovered something, and there is a treatment that high risk patients can be given. Therefore, I pass on this information and urge you to fight for those who are too weak to fight right now. https://www.cdc.gov/rsv/about/prevention.html Now to today’s writing… Have you ever heard this comment made about somebody? “She/he is just shy/quiet/private, so she/he just keeps to themselves most of the time.” It’s funny because when my grandparents said it, it…
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Discerning the Invisible
Allow me to take you on a wild adventure, into the world that is the fascinating, yet misunderstood and unseen… As I wrote last week, this is an adventure that many have had, yet no two individuals have the same experience or lasting life after shocks. Also, there are many who haven’t had even a taste of the adventure I am about to take you on. So whether you have been on this rollercoaster, or are on it, or haven’t a taste, I’m going to do my best to walk you down my path of adventure of diagnoses of invisible chronic illnesses, and accepting that they are invisible. The thing…
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Name, Claim, No Room for Shame!
As I watch the coverage of Hurricane Ian, I am struck with all sorts of emotion. I am also remembering the documentaries that I just watched barely two weeks ago, “When the Levees Broke” and then the follow-up “If God is Willing and Da Creek Don’t Rise,” which are about Hurricane Katrina and New Orleans. The devastation, the brokenness, the loss of lives, homes, loss of everything they had ever known. No two stories were the same, but every person, every story was effected by the hurricane. The trauma, the loss, the reactions, no two were the same, yet they all experienced the same horrific storm. Have you ever experienced…
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Take time to Look Up!
Happy Fall, Ya’ll! Fall and winter are my happy places 😊. I love the weather, the clothes, the feelings… I could go all day, but I know that most people don’t share my deep love for these seasons, so I won’t drag it out 😂. Seasons of Life. Some come and go, some come to stay. It is all in how we choose to welcome them, isn’t it? The picture above is my niece during our first visit to Build-a-Bear. I love this picture, and when I say love, I am over the moon in love with this picture. Let me tell you why. First, the awe and wonder in…
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Dot. Dot. Dot.
Today is an exciting writing day for me. It is a day known around the world, mostly among teachers and children book lovers, it is International DOT Day! A reminder that EVERYONE has the opportunity to “Make your mark!” This day originated from Peter H. Reynolds’ book, “The Dot.” One of my personal favorite books, and also one of my favorite children’s authors. (link to more about this at the bottom of today’s post.) “Trust in your abilities by being brave enough to ‘make your mark,’ it begins with a small dot.” “Each day is a NEW day – a blank page – a chance to make it the BEST…
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Those Who Make Our Lives GRAND!
Grandparents. Special older influences. The people that make you think, make you smile, make you slow down for a while. Front porch visits, a pack of nabs, a Pepsi, an episode of the Andy Griffith Show. This coming Sunday we celebrate and honor, these very special people. And as I have experienced as a child, and as a Mommy and Aunt, I love children’s art no matter the occasion, I want to slow down and reflect on what really is so GRAND about the investments they make! GUIDE with grace: The beauty of grandparents guidance is that they have experience. In the eyes of a child, it seems like they…
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Where Has All The Clapping Gone?
Only a little while ago we were seeing reports of people opening their windows during the hospital shift changes. Hundreds, millions of people clapping, whistling, making music. All for the work that our healthcare workers, our first responders, our medical researchers were doing. What in the world made us go from celebrating to being severely critical? I am honestly beyond appalled. Do you feel the “I am about to snap” feeling? Well, you would be correct. The past two weeks I have had a few normal doctors appointments, simple routine check-ups. And I have never seen a shortage of staff like there is right now. It’s discouraging to see. Because…
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Heart of Urgency
As I mentioned last week, my niece and nephew were with us for almost a week, for what we like to call Camp Palmer Pines Jr. We took a little journey to the Billy Graham Library Teddy Bear Tea, and had fun staying in a hotel, with a tv in the bathroom mirror, I might add 😂 (The other TVs are no longer fascinating 😊) After our little adventure, we had some “taking it easy” time at home. Each summer we have, what my nephew named, “Bible School.” Just 30 to 45 minutes of talking about Jesus and God’s Word, which we repeat, “The Bible is the MOST important book…
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Teddy Bear, Tea or Hot Chocolate?
Oh the blessing of being an aunt ☺️ I come to you today a little sleepy, I must admit. But with many memories made over the past five days. Recently I received an email from the Billy Graham Library, letting me know that they would be having their Teddy Bear Tea this past weekend. It just so happened that my niece and nephew would be staying with us for their “summer camp,” as they do for about a week each summer. As I read on, I realized it would be my niece’s last year to go. And a big plus, was now my nephew could go and my parents and…
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Celebrate? Now? How?
As I walked back into our house, into complete silence, I wept and couldn’t catch my breath. I just remember thinking, “when will I be able to come back up for air? This hurts so bad!” As I crawled into the bed that I now couldn’t remember her not being beside me in, I wrapped myself in every blanket that was hers and cried and breathed, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!” A deep breath in and breath out, Jesus. Repeated until my heart rate was somewhat normal. Although my head felt as if it was going to explode. I would be lying if I said this was a one time thing. The…
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Thoughts of a Broken Mommy
I want to take you on a trip today, one that I find not many will allow me to talk about. One that I am literally aching to tell the world is okay to talk about, ask me about, and is making the world of grieving parents feel as if they are insane. So if you are one of these parents, let me be clear, you are not alone, and you are not insane. I may not know you, but we are together in this journey called life. Keep sharing your story, your child’s name, their story, the world need you and them! Let me take you on a trip,…
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Journey down the Road of Remember…
Last week I left you with the question, what will be remembered of you? This week, I would like to share some of the consistent experiences, moments, and people I have had in my life. The following have influenced me in my desire to leave a “road to remember:” First, would be handwritten notes! This seems to be more and more rare. The picture today is of my Paw-Paw’s handwriting. When I started my business, I wanted to have a statement to display, to explain the purpose of my shop and the short story of the name of shop. My Paw-Paw worked and worked on this, I can’t even explain…
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What Will They Remember?
Today, I can’t quite describe my state of reflection, but I am going to try… Stories, history, a hunger to know more has always been a deep longing for me. I love to learn period. But also for the purpose of looking at the experiences of the past, gathering and applying lessons that we can improve upon, and passing on knowledge, heritage, culture, etc. So my reflecting today is this: What will I leave as a legacy? What will they remember? A few reasons why: I recently was listening to a podcast, and this was the “talking point.” The man being interviewed has written a book about being his brother’s…
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My Brown Eyed Lucy
This past Saturday, July 9, was the anniversary of Jesus scooping up my Lucy, back into His arms. And when I think back on that day, it was actually a calm, peaceful, hymns playing, her gazing at the sky and then at us and then back to the sky. It was easily the most peaceful day of her life. We were seeing all signs of her body “letting go,” but she must have been waiting for my brother to come visit, and for my mom to take her out for their daily front porch time. (only God knows the timing-I am not God-this time was just bittersweet) Because as soon…
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Truth: “Nevers,” Happen!
“It will never happen to me…” “I never imagined this would happen to me/our city/our family…” We are all human, so we have all thought this at one time, maybe even said it out loud. Nobody wants tragedy to strike, or trauma, or disaster to happen to them or anyone they love. Yet, it does, and we still are repeating these same sentences. Granted we are creatures of habit, so in the midst of panic and chaos, we say and do things that just come to mind that has been stored in our brain for times like these. It’s how we are wired. Let me just ask this: What if…
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It’s About the One in the Bed…
Hospitals. The anxiety, the flashbacks memories, the scary, the bittersweet, the unknown, the peace, the comfort… What comes to mind when you think, hospital? I’ve gone to the ER myself and been admitted. Respiratory, GI, kidney stones, kidney infections, food poison. I do everything possible to avoid going to the hospital. Not because it’s a bad place, it just stirs up past experiences of being really sick, and in the case of food poison, going in and out consciousness. I’ve had the honor of being a part of all four of my grandparents “care plans.” All of which included hospital stays. The fight of a grandchild for a grandparent… let’s…
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Head.Shoulders.Knees.Toes.
I come to you all today, fresh from urgent care. No alarm! Just some massive mouth sores/blisters that are hindering my eating, talking, and well, day-to-day life. Good news: nothing serious, just something I ate, or allergy, or irritated. And thankfully was given something to relieve the pain enough to nourish myself, and sit down and write a little… My mouth frustration has had me thinking (since talking has been very rare). I been pondering a few things that I would like to share and ponder with you today. I’ve been told that I have the gift of translating for “new talkers” aka understanding toddlers conversations. Enjoying the company of…
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Lost Art of Porch Sittin’
If a picture could tell a story… then this picture collage would tell the story of a mommy in waiting, a Swingie in (adoption) waiting, and a little children’s boutique, picking out bow colors for bloomers and a newborn swaddle, sometime in 2013ish. The pink blanket backdrop, came with the bassinet basket that laid waiting for her arrival. The Lucy embroidered blanket, a gift to her from her Swing and Duck just a year before she arrived. Her headband, was made by her great grandmother and worn by her mommy when she was little. It was made from hosiery scraps from local textile mills during the 1980s. And now, a…
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Peace in His Presence… ALWAYS
Let me take you back to when I was little. The time in life when any performance, or sport, or school project, etc, was ultimately about the snack at the end of the game, or the flowers, or trophy at the end. And beyond that, what left the greatest impact on me, for life, was who showed up. Grandparents. Mom. Dad. My brother. Family. Close Friends. After the snack and flowers and trophies are gone, the lasting impact, are the people, who thought I was worth dropping all other things and decided to take the time to come see me. It was a gift to know my people would be…
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Collector of Refrigerator Art
Thank you to Allen Levi, musician who sings “Refrigerator Art.” Highly recommend all his music! I am a AVID collector of refrigerator art! Children only need paper, something to draw/color/paint with, maybe some glue and scrap paper, to create a piece of art that is worth more than any fine art piece I could ever buy! I truly believe “beauty is in the sight of the beholder!” (another song lyric) As a Jesus follower, I am called to love and respect every stage of human life, and I do. However, if you gave me a “test” to determine who in a crowd of people I would gravitate too, it would…
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Did you say “nOrMaL?”
My heart is shattered. There are families weeping and aching because there are empty beds, empty seats at their table, less laughter in their home this week. As one dad said it so well, “she always brushed her teeth.” These tiny details, the details that we seem to nag kids about, these are cut off/no existent for these parents. This is grief. I don’t know much, but this much I do know… the loss of a child is different. I’ve known loss, from when I was 4 years old-ish to now. When I was four, it was my friend who was only a year younger than me at the time,…
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The Ones who call me “NaNa”
Today is all about Squeak and Buster. (above picture from 2017) AKA: Lilly and Jack, my niece and my nephew. (Note 😊: The name NaNa was given to me, as I mentioned before, by a little girl who I was blessed to be apart and continue to be apart of her life. This name is super special to me – my “life” role with her and her brothers, and with my niece and nephew are different, but both roles are my heart’s delight and joy!) First, let me explain the Squeak and Buster names 😂 Squeak, is what her dad (my brother) would always call her when she was a…
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You don’t LOOK sick?
Question for the day: Why do we say this, “You don’t look sick,” as if we have to look a certain way to be deemed “sick.” And what does it mean to be “sick?” To one person, it could mean a momentary illness, a cold, virus, or infection. To another, it could be lifelong daily maintenance, caution, awareness, and appointments. And then there are the people that claim they NEVER GET SICK, good golly, at some point you have had to blow your nose or cough – just be real. (sense my sarcasm) The dictionary’s definition of sick is this: “affected by physical or mental illness.” I agree with this…
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I don’t know much…
But this much I do know… I am just a sneaky as my Mom who raised me 😊 She definitely cringed when I even mentioned that I may do a “Mother’s Day” post about her, that’s just who she is. She encourages me in my writing, so it’s not that she doesn’t want me to write, she really just doesn’t like the spotlight on her. Although in reality, it all points to our Heavenly Father, so I chose to go ahead with it ☺️ Side Note: If you don’t know my family, my mom’s grandmother name is Swing, sometimes Swingie when her grand-littles get excited. This name was given to…
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Quality or Quantity?
Life. So many little choices. So many BIG choices. How do you define quality? How do you define quantity? Which do you value the most? In my post, “This little one calls me Mommy,” I told you all that I would write more on Lucy’s diagnosis of hydranencephaly. This is the hardest post yet, just being real and honest. So please bear with me… Milestones. If you know anything about any pre-adoption prep/education, you know that the words “bonding time” are huge, especially with adoptions under the age of 5. It’s the crucial and critical years of our lives that form us, and more importantly, form our basic foundation for…
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Days Like This
Do you ever find yourself just sitting, in a far off daze, with the world seemingly spinning around you, at a speed that is incomprehensible, and you are sitting completely still? I cannot pin point exactly when this became a “normal,” almost daily thing for me. I mean, other than completely zoning out in school and such because of ADHD and Learning disabilities. This is totally different. When I became a Mommy, I would get in a thought process of what is upsetting my Lucy Baby? Diaper, hungry, sleepy, tummy hurts, uncomfortable, etc. Does she want to play or watch the animals outside? What is the best skincare and haircare…
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Christmas is Always
“Christmas, my child, is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas. Christmas is ALWAYS!” Dale Evans Rogers Two weeks. That’s when I last wrote. There has been a lot of head spinning life decisions in the in between. Needless to say, we may agree or disagree, like or dislike the leaders that won the elections, but most importantly we must respect the good work all presidents have done. Every president has done at least one thing to better our country, and this is something we must focus on in this transition. We can be excited or disappointed/discouraged at the outcome, but we are still…
