Happy 100th Birthday, Al-Paw!

Today, my grandfather would be 100!

He passed away in 2018, at the age of 85, but left a lasting legacy, and that’s what I will be writing about today.

First, let me tell you a little background history:

• His childhood was consisted of living and working on the family tobacco farm, with his Mom, Dad, and multiple brothers and sisters.
• He served in the Army as a “clerk typist” when stateside, and “theater service” when overseas. 
• After the war, he started working for the local Savings & Loan in his hometown, and eventually became President of different Savings & Loan nearby. This would be where he would eventually retire from.
• He was a avid UNC fan.
• Loved golf. He played, talked, and watched golf almost 24/7/365. Unless a UNC game was on! 
• He and my Nannie had two children, my aunt and my dad. And they had four grandsons, and one granddaughter, me 😊. They lived to see and meet two great-grandchildren, and since then, we have welcomed five more. Totaling, two great grandsons and five great granddaughters.

I love my grandfather and I learned many things that I hold close and truly cherish for a lifetime! Yet, I would be painting a false picture if I didn’t share these two stories to set up a “snapshot” of our relationship. Possibly the moment he realized he may have met his match… 😂 So as I mentioned before he loved to watch and talk golf. We would usually visit this set of grandparents on Sundays, or sometime during the weekend, as a family. Nannie would have Hi-C and Pepsi for us and we would settle into the sunroom and visit. Golf would be on TV, on mute, and Al-paw would have a golf story or two. And then, since my Dad also worked at the Savings and Loan with him, sometimes the conversation would go in that direction. That was just how my grandfather ticked. Nannie was more the “what have you been doing this week?” conversation. Anyways, I’m told that around three or four years old, with multiple pacis in hand and one in my mouth, it was time for me to butt in and speak my thoughts… I pushed the paci in my mouth to the side (didn’t take it out, because I had paci talents!) and said to him, “It’s time to talk about me!” Now, I’m not sure if I was being selfish or if I was just not understanding anything anyone was saying, but I had something to say. Now fast forward to high school, I was asked at the last minute to make a speech at a fundraising banquet, which all four of my grandparents attended, and afterwards my Al-Paw came to me and said, “I didn’t know you could speak like that!” Guess I had it in me since that day I pushed aside my paci to speak up for myself! 😂

Alright now that I have given you a little snapshot into our relationship, now to the inheritance and lessons I learned from him.

Cameras – Capturing the Moments – Documenting: There’s not many occasions that I can remember that he did not have a camera in hand. He was always taking pictures. Documenting family, people getting together, he was happiest when his people were together and celebrating. For years he was the only one in the family with a video camera, not a small one though, it was what we like to call the “TV reporter video camera.” No lie, it was that BIG!!! It had the big mic on top, the huge tripod… the works! And my Mom and Dad borrowed it for every occasion you can think of: school programs, dance, swim, Christmas, you name it-we have a home video. The fact that we have all these memories documented as a result of my grandfather’s generosity to allow my parents to borrow it, forever grateful! I have always been the “one behind the camera” in the family too, I guess I received this gene from him. It’s a joy to capture the moments, the history being made, and then to be able to look back and talk about the moments and tell future generations about them.

Which leads me to another seed he planted- love for history. Sometimes I wasn’t so sure he was telling the whole truth, because he had this thing that he told people that he invented the “cheese dog.” Yes, not sure where he came up with this one, but we let him try to convince people. His love for history was mostly love for US history and family heritage. Family was important to him, and he had a lot of family! And with US history, he was a big believer in remembering important dates from wars, the biggest was always December 7. The love of history that I most enjoyed learning from him was family heritage. Learning about tobacco farming, large family dynamics in the 1920s-1930s, meeting and marrying my Nannie. These things are of great importance to me.

He also taught me through his flaws. We all have them. And we should learn from them, learn from each others also. In his last months with us, he had let me know that he had been given oxygen and some nebulizer/inhaler medication. Although he wouldn’t share a diagnosis or why he had these things, I had gone over and tried to help him understand how they work, since I had experience since I was a baby. However, he was someone who didn’t like to slow down, he wanted to be outside, so he only did these “breathing treatments” (the only thing I could get from him that his doctor said) when it was convenient for him. *Side note: I totally get that it’s hard to make time to slow down when you are 84 and are used to always being able to go go go, but there comes a time you may have too.* Soon I would find out that he had seen a pulmonologist and had been diagnosed with COPD. (He was still independent – so he went to these appointments himself.) So when he was rushed to the hospital because he couldn’t breathe, and I spoke to the pulmonologist, who was shocked that we were never told, I was honestly devastated. At least the last days with us wouldn’t have been so painful for him. I have dealt with guilt and a lot of what-ifs, but ultimately there is nothing I could have done to prolong his life with us. BUT I have learned to be pro-active, to do what I know to do-when I need to do it-do it now, and most of all ask for help and be honest. Isn’t that something we all can improve on?

Eighty five years of life. Sixty five years of marriage. Two Children. Five grandchildren. Seven great-grandchildren. Now that’s a legacy, an inheritance, a heritage…

Love you Al-Paw! Thank you for the memories!

In the spirit of “inventions” my Life Book of the Week: Mistakes that Worked, by Charlotte Foltz Jones