Life and Lollipop Toes
I am going to jump right in today, and lay out what I believe with great conviction and also find important to make clear before moving forward today…
- I believe God is full of mercy and grace, forgiving and fully able to redeem any choice, person, and use them for His glory, if only we invite and allow Him to do so!
- I believe in reasonable, calm, respectful communication and conversations, period. I will not argue. I will agree to disagree, and continue to love you just the same.
- I am absolutely no one’s judge, nor am I a moral/values police.
- I will never claim to know all or even attempt to act as if I am close to knowing all things- I do know who knows all – and He is very clear that we, humans, cannot be all-knowing, it’s impossible!
- Life: a life is a life is a life. Womb to Tomb. All the in between. NO MATTER WHAT. Each of us have our own unique DNA- one and only in the world, starting in the womb. If there is a heart beating and air in the lungs, there is life, I choose to protect it. No matter the IQ, gender, race, life choices, I choose to love the life given to this world. Even when I don’t like or agree with the choices the person is making, the person’s life matters no matter what!
- If you would like to see me get angry- just substitute the word “abortion” for miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy. THIS REALLY FIRES ME UP! MISCARRIAGE AND ECTOPIC PREGNANCY IS NOT ABORTION! Did I make that clear? Just in case I didn’t, let me explain further. Miscarriage is when the baby has died, but the baby remains in the mother’s body, and a procedure or medicine is given to help the delivery process. Ectopic pregnancy is when a pregnancy begins developing outside the uterus, which truly is the definition of not viable. These two procedures/need for medicine will NOT send you or anyone else to jail!!! As for an abortion, abortion ENDS A PREGNANCY that is in the uterus. This is some states and countries, depending on how and when you do this can land you with criminal charges.
- Abortion takes lives. There are lots of places I can point you too, but I am not. I am only going to quote Alveda King, niece of Martin Luther King, Jr and daughter of A.D. and Naomi King. In August she posted to instagram, “The abortion industry kills as many black people every four days as the klan killed in 150 years.” Let this one sink in. instagram: @alvedaking #fromthewombtothetomb
- Abortion is a big heart concern me. I won’t get political, and actually personally think that that’s where our nation created a huge downfall. But I will say, I believe we can prayerfully and peacefully pray for abortion to cease. I don’t believe shouting and throwing signs in one another’s faces is the answer. I do believe that the approach to praying is powerful and moving way to create a change. If you are interested in how this looks and works, I would encourage you to check out 40 days for life. https://www.40daysforlife.com/en/ I have found that this group has the most integrity and respect their approach to praying peacefully. Right now they are winding up a 40 days campaign, but I would encourage you to get on their email list and start praying for the specifics!
- Just a glimpse of abortion rates by state: North Carolina represents 2.7% of abortions in the US. South Carolina represents 0.6% of abortions in the US.
- Along with abortion being a heart concern, comes babies, children, teens, misinformation, teaching kids they have many choices from a young age, preparing kids now for decisions and life ahead. The way we do that is starting young. I get weird reactions when I say this sometimes, but let me give you an example: when giving a 5-year old a choice, “We are going for a walk around the neighborhood, would you like to ride in the wagon or ride your bike?” In giving them a choice, they can own their choice- if they choose to ride in the wagon, they will ride and stay in the wagon through the neighborhood. If they choose to ride their bike, they will ride their bike or if they choose they no longer want to ride their bike, they will need to walk through the neighborhood. It does a few things, but the two main things it does is: 1. gives them ownership 2. teaches cause and effect. Later in life when they are met with hard choices, things that you have taught them will come back to them and they will have a confidence to stand up for what they know is true and right.
I know that was a lot to get to what I actually want to write today, but my hope was to make clear where I am coming from and where my heart is.
November is National Adoption Month. So this month I hope to bring some light to some areas of adoption that may be new or a little less familiar to you.
Today, I want to share one of the very real and heart breaking realizations I discovered and researched that eventually prompted the beginning of my adoption journey. And that is the stigma of unplanned pregnancy. The numbers and the misinformation I was seeing then, was out of this world.
The resources I could find for anyone looking for their options or counseling of what’s next, was so few and quite discouraging. Where are these girls, their families, friends to go? There is a ton of information about where to get an abortion. But where is the help for choosing life? Where could they go to find out all of those choices? I kept digging…
I read, researched, asked questions, found a lot of truth and a lot of trash. I discovered a bunch of conflicting and confusing messages. And to be completely honest, I couldn’t really give you any solid resource for combatting the stigma of unplanned pregnancy, while at the same time presenting quality resources. (I will give some instagram places at the end of this post that I believe have the heart to de-bunk the stigma, and they are getting somewhere.)
However, I can only speak from my experiences. I have witnessed many different ways of choosing life, examples: some are able to change their lifestyle to welcome and provide for their child, some are able to have family to help care for their child while they gather the life they would like to have for themselves and their child, some have the help of a women’s home to help them find work and a home for themselves and their child, some choose to make an adoption plan.
Now, I want to state some truths that will completely combat blow pregnancy-adoption stigma, simply because I am speaking from an incredibly personal experience. Here are some TRUTHS:
About biological/birth parents:
- Making an adoption plan is nowhere near easy, and is not the path for everyone. But for those who choose this path, they should know their choice is courageous, bold, the very opposite of shame and embarrassment. I am absolutely crushed that any mother would feel ashamed or embarrassed for choosing to give life to a child, for which she then has made a plan that she feels is best for HER child.
- No doubt their path to choosing adoption has been anything but simple. Rather quite laborious and thoughtful.
- They have the right to speak their truth, ask what they would like to ask, and request certain terms and agreements, without hesitation or fear.
- They have the choice of choosing a family with similar feelings about how comfortable they are with open, semi-open, or closed adoption. Example: My profile stated that I was open to sending notes and photos through the attorney’s office for at least the first year, and then we could see where things went from there, meaning semi-open. The mom who chose me, wanted a closed adoption, but we exchanged first names through the attorney’s office. So there are lots of varying degrees of open to closed.
Adoption and Us:
- As for our speech and approach to pregnancy and adoption to the world, we need to remember the word GRACE. There is a lot of truth that can be spoken with grace.
- Knowledge is key. No matter how “positive” we talk or think the word “adoption” is, it may not be for someone else. In the United States, we tend to view adoption as the alternative to parenting, or the “right thing to do” instead of abortion. There may be small bits of truth to that, but the bigger truth is it is the lives and the faces- they matter- this matters above all! Hearts, souls, and minds go beyond earthly rights and parenting – adoption goes beyond – make it a priority – lives- faces – hearts- souls- minds. (and toes😊)
- There is always more to learn, more to teach, more to see, more hope to give, more life to choose to be given!
I, no doubt, have a heart for children, adoption, life, and all that comes with. I also acknowledge this is not everyones hearts desire, but I know I am responsible for speaking the truths above, and pray with hope it will be helpful to someone reading.
I have been beyond blessed to have been chosen by a mother to care for her little girl, she gave me the gift of being a Mommy also. And for that, I will always honor and respect her incredibly brave decision.
Life Books of the Week: “Why Pro-Life?” by Randy Alcorn; “To the Heart of the Matter” and “The Beginning of the End of Abortion” both by Shawn D. Carney (40 Days for Life- short stories from all over)
Other things that might interest you:
www.liveaction.org
https://radiancefoundation.org/adoption/
Instagram suggestions: @radiancefoundation @40daysforlife.official @humancoalition @liveactionorg @wngdotorg
Until next week! 😊
