Everyone Needs to be Held
Winter.
What are the things that come to mind without a second thought?
Take a minute and make note of these things.
Personally, I am a cold-weather (some may see as obnoxious) lover! The way I see it is, if you’re cold you can put more layers on. But when you’re hot, there is only so many layers this world will allow you to take off. And when you are someone who can wear shorts and a t-shirt most of the year and still be warm, the cold is a wonderful gift! 😊 So this is the first thing that comes to mind for me! RELIEF 💕
The Christmas Season! Parades, lights, singing, celebrating, giving and receiving, children, family and friends.
Change. In weather. Traditions. Growing Up. Families growing. Loved ones running ahead. World changing.
This is where I want to land today, change. The picture I have shared today is my Paw-Paw holding me at a Christmas parade. So what does this have to do with change? Glad you asked!
First, a little about my Paw-Paw, before I came along there were my two cousins, boys, and my brother. The December before my brother was to be born, my Paw-Paw was at home making sure he had everyone equal amount of Christmas gifts for everyone, when he had a massive heart attack. He had just been to the doctor that day, granted that was 1981 and medicine has come a long way! The family was all called in and prepared for the worst. However, he was given many more years! My brother was born, and then I came along. My Paw-Paw was still working at the time I was born, and had been transferred to another location within the state. So him and my grandma lived a few hours away, Monday through Friday, and then would come back to their home in town on the weekends. So in the winter, especially around Christmas, we spent a lot of time with them.
One of our biggest traditions was the local Christmas Parades! They would get there super early to get the best spot for us to see everything! In this picture, we are most likely waiting to see my cousins in a marching band, so exciting! Later on, I would be in the parade for dance, my brother for musical theatre, and then we both would be for the local Savings and Loan. The things that sticks out to me the most in this picture is: 1. Paw-Paw always made sure I was warm and cute 😊 being his only granddaughter, I think he enjoyed finding cute little clothes and bonnets 💕 2. He carried me everywhere! He carried me for so long, I can remember the feeling, the warmth of his hug, resting on his shoulder. He just knew when I didn’t feel well, and would say, “Sugar, if I could take it away from you, I sure would.” And when he couldn’t hold me, he always had a pocket book or coin purse to make me smile 😊 He embraced the simple things.
Another tradition, Christmas Lights! My paw-paw and grandma would scout out the best lights in town, and then we would all pile in the car and ride around and ooh and ahh for hours! Quality. Intentional. Time-consuming, yet we never felt rushed. Pretty sure we never went over 10mph! Treasured excitement and memories.
One more thing about my Paw-Paw, we never really gave him and my grandma a wish list for Christmas. We may have asked for one or two things specifically, but he really observed each of us all through the year. When my cousins and brother started driving, he would get them car detailing products. For a while I was into ladybugs, and everything was filled with ladybugs. Everyone always received a wall calendar, that matched their personality. Not only was the gift a surprise, but he was the master of disguised wrapping! Pringles cans were his #1 disguise! Absolutely amazing what he could fit in one of those cans!
Change. Paw-Paw lived by example. I gleaned a lot from just observing him and listening to conversations he had. If there was a way to get a Masters Degree in Change, he would be the first in the class. The stories he told of his childhood, his dad passing away, him stepping up as the man of the family for his mom and three sisters. He didn’t like change, but he was acquainted with it. It was painful, but some how he grieved it and managed to find a way through. He knew that changes were apart of life, if we are to grow, change is necessary. The last few years of his life here on earth, I witnessed him have times of being beat down, discouraged, and emotional. My grandma was in a nursing home, and his health wasn’t the greatest. But in all this change, he chose to find joy in simple moments…
A glimpse one of the simple moments he chose… My job at the time was keeping a little boy in my home, and my Paw-Paw started stopping by on his way to the nursing home to just say, “Hi!” Well, the little boy fell in love with Paw-Paw, even started calling him Paw-Paw, because he heard me call him that. Paw-Paw really won him over when he let him start pushing the button on his keys that made the car horn honk! He would let him press it as many times as he wanted to! And the joy this brought to my Paw-Paw… He would laugh until tears flowed! Joy in the midst of heartache!
He also experienced something he never thought he would be around for, great-grandchildren!
I write this today, because there are a lot of days when I think, “I’m so glad my grandparents don’t have to live through this.” I miss them so incredibly much, but recently I have thought this so much of my Paw-Paw. My parents and I were riding around the other night, and we started talking about Christmas lights and if we should take my niece and nephew to look at them. And it hit me like a ton of bricks, the lights have faded. In the 80s and 90s it was unusual for streets to not have at least one house with Christmas lights. But this year, you can go blocks without seeing lights! Not only lights, but parades. Two very innocent, exciting, family oriented traditions have been violated over the past several years. I’m crushed. These things should never been infused with terror, anxiety, or associated with lives lost. My Paw-Paw and Grandma would be completely CRUSHED. This type of change is devastating.
I have no suggestions on what can make this better. But I do know the feeling of my Paw-Paw’s arms around me, keeping me warm, looking for familiar faces. I even know the feeling of waiting to see my family at the end of the parade route, at the end of a long walk or ride, knowing that there are many looking for me, waiting to scoop me up and carry me. And I do know this is missing in the lives of many children. These children do grow up, and when they are missing the absolutely essential needs from childhood, especially the ones that are crucial the first five years of life, why do we expect them to have the tools to become a thinking and accountable adults?
So let me leave you with this, change is all around us, the good, the bad, the ugly. Change can go in either direction. I challenge you (and myself) this Christmas, to allow yourself to be open to seeing and hearing the children (0-21 😊). See the faces. Hear their cries, laughter, speaking. Let them know you are listening. Let them talk. Allow them to show you what they may need from you. I believe with all my heart you will not regret it!
Life Book of the Week: The Polar Express, by Chris Van Allsburg – BELIEVE!
