Where’s the Village?

ALERT: Searching for multigenerational villages investing in the lives of children! Anyone who sees or identifies one, praise Jesus! There IS HOPE!!!! 😊

First of all, let me establish I am a big believer in watching the news. Honestly this has come from my multigenerational influences. Grandparents telling stories of how they would gather around the radio to hear the news – and then being able to see the advances in technology, into 24/7 news channels for them, could be compared to going from no phone to a iPhone for teens today. They were in awe and constantly engaged. It’s just the way technology advances and has influence on us. However, what my grandparents instilled in me about the news and why it is important to stay informed, can be summed up this way: it’s better to have the information/knowledge of what is going on in our world, this equips everyone to be informed voters, citizens, advocates, and most of all the people God has called us to be in our community. Disclaimer: I am not saying have the tv on 24/7 news all the time! That will lead to some really bad depression (been there, you don’t want to go there). BUT I do believe that news is to be watched, and get multiple perspectives from multiple channels! And then think for yourself!

Why am I ranting about the news? There have been even more disturbing events this past week, some which haven’t been covered enough (my opinion) on the news. I have been following two stories, in particular, that just make my blood pressure rise. One is the TX outlet mall shooting. It is being covered, but if you haven’t heard any of the “bystanders” who responded to the wounded, I suggest you do. There is a six year old that lost his mom, dad, and sister, he is the only one who survived in his family. Let that sink in. The second story is in OK, this one is so horrific and beyond sickening. A man released from prison early… gets married to a woman with three kids… youngest daughter has two friends over for a sleepover… and the man murders them all including himself. BUT they close the case and release the property (to the families of the victims) because everyone was dead, so they assumed the case was closed. Just look it up and see what the families of the two friends found in that house!!! Excruciating!!

What is going on? When did we as a culture start pushing away the village that helped in raising our children? When did we decide it was okay to eliminate (or neglect) the roles of aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, friends, mentors? When did it become okay for our children to be raised by their peers? When did we decide that once our children were old enough to feed and bath themselves that it was okay to let them raise themselves? Stay at home alone? Leave them unchaperoned? When did it become okay to not know what happens at friends houses or not know the parents of their friends? When did we forget our responsibility as a nation, community, church, and/or family?

What happened? Did we decide busyness for our children is more important than role models and mentors? Did we buy into the belief that a career is more important than the mental health of our families? Have we allowed ourselves to compartmentalize our lives into childhood, young adult, child-raising years, retired years? Have we bought the lies of what life is supposed to look like during this particular times? Do we see “young adult” years as time to be free and wild and careless? Or our “child-raising” years as just the next step in life? Or “retired years” as “raised my kids and now it’s my turn to travel” years?

I don’t have any degree to show you. And honestly, I never have desired to. I am completely self-taught, researched, and my technique of educating is no where near what would be required of any “normal” student. All thanks and glory to Jesus for showing me this at a very early age! However, I have read and researched hours about what children need from loving and caring adults. And it’s really quite simple, if only we slow down and take the time. Let me give you a glimpse of what they want and need, consciously and unconsciously:

• Their Mom and Dad of course need to be the leaders. Their foundation. Their place of safety.
• They also need for the aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, friends to share the responsibility with their parents in guiding them, encouraging them, being available for answering questions, listening, for wisdom… They need friendships with older AND younger people. They need parents to encourage them in these relationships. These are the people that will be there for them when their parents cannot be.
• They need the people around them to see their gifts and talents, and then encourage them. Ask them questions: Is this fun? How does it make you feel? Why do you think it makes you ________?
• They need to feel safe and comfortable while knowing their parents are confident that they are safe in the company of those they are with.

If we as parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, adults don’t start stepping it up as mentors and role models, the next generation will be raised by their peers. Do you know what this means? It means 12 year olds will be raising 12 year olds. 16 year olds will be raising 16 year olds. As much as I love kids, I really don’t want our president, our leaders of our nations, state, and local government to be ran by adults that were only raised to be 12 or 16 year olds. There is a crisis, and it’s our responsibility to respond!

It’s really quite simple. It requires simple things. Invite your niece, nephew, granddaughter, grandson, son, daughter, … to share music with you, or watch a movie together and discuss it after, play games, put a puzzle together, have a dance party, make some art! (in our house we like: sand art, perler beads or melty-as my brother calls them, painting), make a fort, have some ice cream or icee pop, campfire and s’mores, catch lightening bugs, find somewhere to swing!, read together, take silly pictures of one another. Bottom line: take time to be together. Learn from each other. There is a lot we need to learn from younger generations! They need us and we need them!

Make sure to document these moments somehow- journal, pictures, videos. They will need to reminders of these days!

Children are waiting, what will be your role?

Picture today: My cousins, my brother and I. Everybody’s personality is represented in this picture except mine 😂 Not sure what’s happening, but my cousin’s face is classic and spot-on, AND I suppose God was preparing him for four girls 😂😂😂😂

Life Book of the Week: Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World, by Jill Rigby

Resources that I have found encouraging and also informative:

• Slugs & Bugs/Randall Goodgame: Putting Scripture to song and hand motions, which a lot of which is ASL. This link with take you to Patreon which is a subscription site – he is trying to build a channel of subscribers for his next album, but also your subscription will allow you access to special access videos. https://www.patreon.com/randallgoodgame (also can go to https://slugsandbugs.com)
• The Holy Post Podcast: If you are familiar with Veggie Tales you will hear a familiar voice in Phil Vischer, the creator of Veggie Tales, What’s in the Bible, etc. However this is a bit more advanced 😊 Current Events, Issues facing believers, and other news and topics. Highly recommend! https://www.patreon.com/holypost
• Many ideas and articles, not just for grandparents! https://grandkidsmatter.org
• HIGHLY recommend! Most all of their age suggestions for movies, music, tv, apps are spot on! https://www.commonsensemedia.org
• Some instagram accounts that I like that give tips and information in short clips: @childrengrieve, @love_and_logic_institute, @defendyoungminds, @mikerowe (dirty jobs guy and practical perspective on college vs trade- both needed, both are not always encouraged) @fosterdadflipper, @commonsensemediaorg, @bulliesbe.gone, @savethekidsinc, @grant_diamond, @holypostpodcast, @grands.matter, @slugsandbugs. (if you follow me on instagram @indeedshop you will find all of these under “Following”)