Who Knows What the Children May Become?

A couple quotes to start today 😊

“Abraham Lincoln, who never paid more than minimum courtesy to the adults whom he passed on the street, but when he passed a child, he stepped out of the way and doffed his hat. ‘These adults I know,’ he said, ‘ but who knows what the children may become?'”

– Children are Wet Cement, Anne Ortlund

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient. 
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to have confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns appreciation.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.
- Dorthy Law Nolte

Last week I mentioned Children are Wet Cement as my Life Book of the Week. I tend to be a visual learner and really love this visual especially. Allow me share why. The picture today is of my little girl Lucy’s tiny feet. These little molds of her feet hold an abundance of emotions and also many heart lifting moment memories within her last week of life in my arms. If you are familiar with any children’s hospital, then you have most likely heard of a wonderful, life lifting service, Child Life. These specialists are available to come and do art therapy, music therapy, help with school work for children who are there for extended amounts of time, and so much more! While we were at the hospital with Lucy, they knew that young cousins were visiting and they were so gracious to bring things to color so that her cousins could decorate her walls with happy drawings, they also provided books to help them begin understand what Lucy was going through. Needless to say, I cried every time I saw them coming, because I knew that they were going to help ease the confusion and brighten the situation for those visiting, and for me and Lucy. The morning we were to be discharged they came to our room and had paint and canvases, and materials for making a mold. First they painted her little foot and made a sunshine canvas. And then they proceeded to make molds of BOTH her feet. I cannot tell you what a beautiful gift this was and is! For me, there is nothing like the hands and feet of a child. Their skin, but also just the potential that lies ahead… breathtaking. Something that I thought I may never have a chance to do, Child Life made it happen not even knowing I was grieving losing this opportunity.

If you take time to look around and see how many cement stones have handprints or footprints in them, the idea that children are wet cement constant reminder! They love to get their hands or feet in the cement before it starts to harden.

So where do we start? How do we make sure it doesn’t harden to quickly?

• Our Voice: the way we speak to them- tone of voice, our words- we must really start paying attention to the words coming out of our mouths about everything! Do they lean more towards positive or negative? This includes talking about ourselves, others, conflicts, solutions, the world, the nation, our community, etc. Put downs may seem subtle, but have the potential for major hurt and long term heart damage.
• Give Truthful Affirmations: Every child has an enormous need for affirmation! Notice I didn’t say want! They NEED! Be specific! Words go into a child through their ears, down to their heart, and become apart of their belief of themselves, this begins to mold their character.
• Do not rush childhood learning: this book was published in 1981, and this is a direct quote, “We seem more and more determined to get children who will ‘produce’ and who will ‘conform.'” My stomach drops as I type this. She goes on to quote Sally Folger Dye, in 1979, “There is no area in which our discontent, our impatience with growth shows up more clearly than in our attitudes toward learning… We are in such a rush to educate our children that department stores are now selling special pillowcases and towels for children that say PLEASE TEACH ME TO READ – and then provide imprinted letters, numbers, words and clocks for telling time. A book that suggested that we start reading readiness at ten months sold 75,000 copies in a short time. Another book… gave careful instructions which would help a child read 150 words per minute, add, subtract, multiply, and divide, and understand fractions and simple algebra, all before the age of five.” This was written 44 years ago- this is SICK and unacceptable! What should they be learning at this age? What they do and do not like, imagination, dealing with emotions and naming them, they should be learning life and encountering it, give and take, results of different actions. Children are to be children, they do not have the experience nor the training to be held at the level of responsibility of an adult!
• Value them as real people: Because they are! Sit with them. Play and let out your inner child. Observe with your eyes and ears. Find ways to affirm them. Be present in the moment. Become apart of their world. Learn about them.
• Impress on them the things that matter the most: Talk. Sit. Walk. Lie down. Tie. Bind. Write. Deuteronomy 6:6-9. Impressions are what sticks to our subconsciousness. Whatever makes these things stick- do it. Make art and hang it where everyone can see it. Repeat it. Memorize it. Write it on notecards. Talk about it.
• Discipline: “Disciplining is simply life affecting life – and after a couple of years of watching, the little one starts copying: walking, talking, taking lids of jars, and so forth.” I couldn’t have said it better. Example: Include children in dinner, in conversations when you have company over. This teaches manners, graciousness, learning how to be in the midst of good conversation.
• Teens: They still need you! Independence must be earned, and even then, they are still your child. Affirmations are a must! Let them know you are listening and are available to talk about whatever. They still need you for a sense of direction and to help balance life. They need understanding and support. They need to hear from you, your words.

Susannah Wesley had seventeen children, safe to say she probably had some good tips on guiding children! Her six tips on raising children:

1. Subdue self-will in a child and thus work together with God to save his soul.
2. Teach him to pray as soon as he can speak.
3. Give him nothing he cries for and only what is good for him, if he asks for it politely.
4. To prevent lying, punish no fault which is truly confessed, but never allow a rebellious, sinful act to go unnoticed.
5. Commend and reward good behavior.
6. Strictly observe all promises you have made to your child.

“Nobody who has Christ in their heart is excused from making a mark on the children around them!” – Anne Ortlund

I agree with the above statement 1000%. I recently purchased a shirt that says, “there is no such thing as other peoples children.” Before you write me off, let me explain. I am not suggesting that every person has the right to assume the role of a parent. What I do firmly believe is that every person that encounters a child leaves an impression, a mark, good, bad, so-so. No matter if you just walk by a child, or if you have an interaction, or if they see you through a screen, there is a mark made. These marks influence what they believe about themselves, others, the world, and the things they will come face-to-face with. So all the ways above that we can keep children’s cement wet, so that they can keep growing, applies to us all.

Will you choose pause and give a smile to a baby? Will you choose to wave at the little one who is trying to get somebody to wave back? Will you talk to the toddler who is overjoyed about what she did today? Will you throw the ball back to the kids playing a game? Will you roll the matchbox car back down the hallway to the child who let it go? Will you stop and admire the artwork, and maybe start a gallery on your refrigerator?

Let’s be the ones who children remember that stopped, even for a moment, and let them know “you are greatly loved and have tremendous value!”

Life Book of the Week: How to Eat a Book, by Mrs. and Mr. MacLeod. LOVE this book! Many reasons why, but it reminds me of how I soaked in the book I wrote about today. I love reading, and I often wonder what would have happened to that love if my parents didn’t observe that traditional school was literally killing my love for reading. And then I remind myself, they didn’t let that happen! To them I am forever grateful! And to the one added this gem to our family library, and has sparked a love of reading in so many, thank you!