If we knew…
Mary, did you know that your baby boy Would one day walk on water? Mary, did you know that your baby boy Would save our sons and daughters? Did you know that your baby boy Has come to make you new? This child that you delivered, will soon deliver you. Mary, did you know that your baby boy Will give sight to a blind man? Mary, did you know that your baby boy Will calm the storm with his hand? Did you know that your baby boy Has walked where angels trod, And when you kiss your little baby You've kissed the face of God? Mary did you know? The blind will see, the deaf will hear The dead will live again. The lame will leap, the dumb will speak The praises of the Lamb. Mary, did you know that your baby boy Is Lord of all creation? Mary, did you know that your baby boy Would one day rule the nations? Did you know your baby boy Is heaven's perfect Lamb? That sleeping child you're holding is the great, I AM. - Mary, Did you Know, by Mark Lowry and Buddy Greene
Allow me to jump right in today!
I have loved the “Christmas” song for many years. Although it is more than a Christmas season song. For one thing I love Mark Lowry and Buddy Greene! I also love the way it makes me reflect and think about:
- What was Mary feeling? She knew the child she was carrying and delivered was something special and definitely a miracle.
- If God had allowed her to know what all Jesus would do in his lifetime on earth, would that cause her to have a sense excitement or a sense of heaviness, in her earthly parental role?
- And then it also has me thinking, this year, if we knew or could see ahead of us, how would our longing for heaven, our actions and decisions today be affected?
Mary, some describe her as sweet and quiet, and we view her as the world would say “put-together.” I don’t know her temperament, but I do know she responded in obedience as God’s servant, this doesn’t make her sweet and quiet, but I’ll let you do you own reading and have your own thoughts on that one. As far as “put-together,” I know what I look like when I have had to go to the hospital. She traveled on dirt roads on a donkey! And may I add she wasn’t exempt from labor and delivery. So I give her props for traveling and having a baby with no medical help! On top of that she knew God had sent His Son by way of her womb! What was she feeling? I can only assume: overjoyed, overwhelmed, tired, excited, HOLY Baby!, now what?.
Place yourself in her and Jospeh’s sandals for a second. If God laid out for them what Jesus was to do on earth- many miracles, be persecuted and mocked, and ultimately die for the worlds sins, and be raised from the dead and return to His Father in heaven until He comes again- what do you think their reaction might have been? As a parent, I believe I would have a serious anxiety attack! You mean I gave birth to a child that I am going to have to watch them go through all these things??!?!
AH! But God… The kindness and tenderness of our God! Can I get a Hallelujah?
If we knew what was ahead, our longing for a new heaven and a new earth would fall flat. If we knew what was ahead, we would be waiting for the next thing, good or bad, and THEN we would lean harder on our relationship with God. If we knew what was ahead, we might sneak in a few more rebellious acts and then turn our life around.
But God… I living proof. And I am here to share with you, that’s not how things work and I am so grateful!!!
I’ve heard many times, “If I only knew…” If I only knew she was in so much pain… If I only knew he was so close to the end… If I only knew she was sick… If I only knew that was the last time we would see/talk to each other… And it always ends with something you would do differently. Let me ask you something, isn’t this exhausting? Having this much if only regrets is heavy. And I have some news for you… You were not supposed to know! That is HIS kindness – embrace it – forgive yourself – and ask Him to remove it from your heart and mind.
My picture today was taken as I laid beside my little girl after they had given me the crippling news of approximately two weeks I would have with her this side of eternity. She had no clue. She was peaceful and comfortable. She had her blankets, pacis, her dock-a-tot, and a bed that I could sleep beside her. They were done with scans and tests, and she was resting. The night before I had said to the neurosurgeon, “Whatever the diagnosis, I will do whatever it takes. We can do this.” I knew that surgery wasn’t an option. And I knew something was really not okay from just viewing the scans. I was prepared for the “long-haul,” whatever that may be. Except the long haul turned out to not be so long.
I share this because people have asked, “if you could have known this at birth, would you still have adopted her?” I’ll be honest, this question stings because I am so passionate about being her Mommy and nothing can ever change that, NOTHING! I think that answers the question. But also I like to answer this question because it is an opportunity to say, “of course! A life is a life, no matter how short or long!” I would adopt her 1000xs over!
If only. It never will happen to my family. Today I am calling these phrases out for what they are: Toxic.
If we knew what lies ahead, we wouldn’t have the opportunity to allow God to prepare us yesterday or today. If I knew that the knowledge of hospice that I was learning in 2008 and 2012 with my grandparents was preparing me for asking for KidsPath/Hospice for my little girl, I may have been too paralyzed to be bold and ask, or even worse too paralyzed to pursue HIS will in adoption! And that my friends, would be devastating to me.
As we are celebrating this Christmas and hear this song, I pray that you will be reminded that Mary didn’t need to know. Joseph didn’t need to know. Mary and Joseph trusted God, the One who holds ALL things- yesterday, today, and forever!
Life Book of the Week: Refuge, by Anne Booth. I LOVE Christmas and especially Christmas Children’s Books – so this was hard to narrow down. But this one seems just right. 😊
