Oh my Soul, It is Well!
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
- Horatio Spafford
The story of this hymn is one of heartbreak, deep grief, and great loss. Mr. Spafford wrote these words while grieving the loss of four his daughters in a shipwreck. “Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, It is Well!”
I’ve never known life outside of living with chronic illness, just a fact. Diagnosed at four months, but I am sure my parents would agree asthma and reflux were with me from the start! Another fact is that the words “heal” and “cure” have always been words I associate with Heaven, not earth. It is just one of the facts of my life’s testimony. I have lived, loved, and lost, all with the knowledge of the hope of heaven!
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen miracles (unexplainable situations that can only be explained/somewhat comprehended with the knowledge of God’s grace and mercy!), comebacks, and plenty of “how in the world!” I also have witnessed some of the hardest “why in the worlds.”
Acknowledging these things, I admit struggle when it comes to medical conversations- whether it be my opinion, or facts, or research I have done, or experience I have had with a medication or therapy or doctor or hospital. Some conversations I shut down and just let others speak up, because it may be something I been shut down about in the past or it may just be that someone else has more experience. Some conversations, though, I get passionate about, these are usually when they effect children and the older population, the ones who cannot speak for themselves, and ones whose life gets completely altered by other peoples’ choices, also, comments about unrealistic expectations.
Unfortunately, I may lose some of you here with what I am about to write, but I hope that you will hang with me!
As I watched the hearing with Dr. Fauci last week, first, I was disturbed by the conduct of the representatives. Second, I was appalled at how much responsibility was placed singularly on Dr. Fauci. Yes, he was a signature on the grant. Yes, he had a important role in the “Covid vaccine rollout.” But he wasn’t the only one making recommendations and calling for restrictions. And he wasn’t the only one signing grants and working at the NIH. There was a whole team of COVID response, many public figures from many different government agencies were visible and vocal, and were right at the same White House press conferences. Never did he claim that he had the cure nor the answer to eradicating the world of disease.
Hear me out. The two statements that keep coming to mind that Dr. Fauci said: “We had a tsunami of deaths.” “I don’t believe any vaccine is a hundred percent effective.” I can get heated about how our nation has treated this individual, but there is a time and place for that. For today, let me propose some questions before I move onto these two sttements: Do you have any experience in handling pandemics, researching vaccines, or education on the ins and outs of science of viruses and disease? If the world was looking to your son or daughter, mom or dad, and their colleagues for direction on what to make of a pandemic, would you tolerate them being spoken to and threatened like this? Or being given this much weight to carry? Have ever thought about how much your life relies on the NIH, FDA, CDC, and so many other agencies? Have you ever taken a prescription medication or eaten anything that you have purchased from a store or restaurant? If yes, then your life depends on the integrity of these agencies. Do you expect your doctor or nurse to wear gloves when they examine you or draw blood? Do you expect your examine room at the doctor to be cleaned in between patients? There are a BUNCH of people to thank that you will never see or know that make these recommendations and requirements and sometimes laws that keep us well.
“We had a tsunami of deaths.” Have we forgotten? The US was losing 1000+ people a day to COVID. Remember how fast it hit and how fast it went from one city, to a whole state, to five states, to 20 states, to the whole world?!? WE MUST NOT FORGET!!
“I don’t believe any vaccine is a hundred percent effective.” Dr. Fauci is one of the people responsible for going to the population with HIV/AIDS, when no one else would. I don’t know where he lands with Jesus, but I do know this is where Jesus would have walked! Dr. Fauci and his colleagues have made great leaps in discovering vaccines that are effective, but he has never claimed any one of them 100% effective.
The truth is there are only two diseases that have been eradicated: smallpox in humans and rinderpest in ruminants. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eradication_of_infectious_diseases)
Vaccines help prevent severity of illness, infection, spread, hospitalization, etc. Vaccines have been a debatable hard topic in the church, as long as I have known, with a huge division with the COVID vaccine. Masks, distancing, and simple respect seem unbearable. And honestly, this only makes church more difficult for those in the chronic illness world. The more people who go unvaccinated, the greater risk for children, elderly, and those with chronic and immune illnesses.
Let me ask this: What do you expect from doctors like Dr. Fauci? What about primary care or specialty doctors? Is your expectation a quick fix? A instant answer? A solvable problem? A treatable ailment?
Here’s what I am trying to convey today, do we expect all the answers of a pandemic to be answered by one man? I have had easy answer diagnoses, and I’ve had those diagnoses that take multiple tests and appointments. I’ve experienced having to say something is not right, and fight until someone listened. We are all human. The bottom line fact is there are very few absolute cures, meaning completely being rid of a disease. And as far as healing goes, there are times of remission, there is getting chronic illness to a manageable point for daily life, but complete healing, that’s the hope of heaven. Relief from pain. Medicine to help manage illness. Therapy of all kinds to make life bearable. Yes, all these things can help in easing the aching on this side of heaven, but complete healing… the longing of heaven when all things are made new!
He tells us we can ask for the desires of our hearts. And healing can absolutely be one of those desires! It is the emphasis and the pressure we sometimes, as believers, place on ourselves and others when we sneak that word “complete” in there. A complete cure or complete healing.
I remember so vividly after being in the room with all the specialists for Lucy, getting the news, and going straight back to my little girl. (Side note: the night before I had somewhat consciously known there was a lot missing in her CT and ultrasound, so I had a feeling the news wasn’t going to be simple or easy.) Not long after, one of the specialist came in and hugged me tight, and said, “I think you know this, but she will be healed. Not here but in heaven.” And she went on to quote scripture and break every rule in the book, I didn’t care, throw that rule book out the window. But the fact that she came and let me know she was with me, I will never forget!
It is well with my soul, for I look forward to the hope and healing that is coming! I rest in the fact and also celebrate the healing my girl has now, even as I miss her so deeply! In the meantime, let us sit with each other. Let us truly hear, listen, and ask for understanding.
https://www.who.int/news-room/spotlight/history-of-vaccination/a-brief-history-of-vaccination
Life Book of the Week: Breakthrough!: How Three People Saved “Blue Babies” and Changed Medicine Forever, by Jim Murphy
