Listen. Hear. Speak.
Hurting someone can be as easy as throwing a stone in the sea. But do you have any idea how deep that stone can go?
Do we really realize the profound effect of our words and actions?
This question has been on my mind repeatedly over the last couple of weeks. The election is closing in and here in North Carolina the commercials and campaigning is like never before! The seemingly eagerness to spread lies and misinformation is downright despicable! I cringe and my hands tremble as I write this sentence.
A few weeks ago I wrote about we are in a crisis for truth. Then I wrote about Word vs words. Good golly, I know God is all-powerful and has a plan, so I do have peace and rest in this belief.
In my 37 years of life, never have I ever seen victims of complete devastation and loss, re-victimized so horrendously. If you can’t tell already, I’m at the end of my rope with people questioning and threatening the lives of helpers. I mean, Mr. Rogers said, “Look for the helpers,” we obviously are not passing this lesson along to our children! It’s not a very good day in our neighborhoods!
There have been so many stomach turning misinformation super spreaders that I am not even going to try to debunk them myself- I’ll leave that up to the sources below:
All resources you need: https://www.ncdps.gov/our-organization/emergency-management/hurricane-helene
Facts vs Rumors: https://www.ncdps.gov/our-organization/emergency-management/hurricane-helene/hurricane-helene-fact-vs-rumor
FEMA Facts: https://www.fema.gov/fact-sheet/myth-and-fact-north-carolina-helene-response
As you know, children and generations to come are when I become fired up. And I admit, lying is one of my big pet peeves. (ask the children that have been in my care- lies break trust- broken trust must be built back- this is a slow process) When authority that we teach our children they are to respect and listen to choose the road of lying and distorting truth, I get angry. There you go- I fully admit I get raging angry! Lord have mercy, and I mean that with everything in me!
What happened to being able listen, observe, and learn? When did our conversations get so divisive that our children can’t be in on our conversations? When did we start allowing loud and overpowering voices? When did interrupting become okay and normal? When did multi-tasking while having a conversation with our kids become what we do 100% of the time? When did we become afraid to say, “that’s not okay?”
I have always been a kid-person. No offense to adults, I just love kids. So whether it be a family or friends get together, or an event, or bookstore, or any store- you will find me at the kids table, or even in stores I find myself in the picture books and toys. I am constantly trying to educate myself on the new things they are facing and the popular “trends.” It’s a natural draw- with my business I always am researching the up and coming products, my favorite are always the new baby and children’s items. I can’t change it, and Lucy’s arrival and home going made this love and passion even more intense. I still love all the adults in my life too 😉
My point is the fight, the advocate in me is sparked when it comes to children. And if you don’t know this already, children are listening even when you think they are not! They have the best sensors for “secrets” and information being whispered. The more we withhold information from them the more they seek it out from other sources. Be aware of this!
Slowly and then suddenly, I recently observed how (dare I say) shoved to the side children are in social arenas these days. We almost over consider where we go and what we do depending on if there is space where “kids can be kids.” Or having “kid-free” outings or events, less and less family activities. Now hang with me. I am not advocating for five star restaurants and three hour broadway plays. What I am advocating for is what I cherish from my childhood and the memories I have of my niece and nephew. Those times when I went to Hardee’s with my grandparents and was expected to sit and have conversations with them and their friends. When I would take my niece and nephew somewhere and we would sit and talk and giggle. The times we were together, interacting with each other and with others, doing life together.
What about the amount of interruptions? Are we truly listening AND hearing? Or are we looking at our phone? Thinking about what needs to be done? Multi-tasking because there’s no time to “waste,” gotta keep going? How about this: when is the last time you sat down with a child, no phone, no agenda, eye contact, and listened for as long as they needed you to listen, and genuinely heard them? Did you engage- ask questions or have comments to further the conversation? If you can’t remember when you did this last, then you’re overdue.
There are so many conversations that I believe are crucial to have with children, but that’s for another day. However, today I will encourage you to ask them what they think of the current election, candidates-local and national. ASK THEM, before you give any input. I was a kid that loved history and government and how it all worked, plus I asked questions persistently. Now, I believe more than ever, children are watching and listening the adults in their lives, and they are mimicking and repeating. What you laugh at, what you brush off as “nothing,” what you take seriously, what you talk about the most, the names that come out of your mouth positively or negatively- they are expert observers. Make it a point to correct misguided information and talk about the issues. Honestly, I believe the issues are more important than the candidate names, but those are becoming more and more divisive, so use your discernment.
Throwing a stone, reposting a hurtful comment, reposting misinformation, saying a cutting remark- that’s just scratching the surface. The lies being told about Western North Carolina, our responders, FEMA are beyond words. People believing these lies are refusing help, possibly the only aid that can get to them for months.
My challenge for myself and you is this: let’s be ordinary citizens that value the facts, and do not fear speaking truth, and help guide the next generation in doing the same.
Life Book of the Week: What to do about Alice? How Alice Roosevelt Broke the Rules, Charmed the World, and Drove her Father Teddy Crazy!, by Barbara Kerley
