Caught and Held Accountable
Aaaa! The prayer that many parents have prayed, “our children will be caught and held accountable for their actions.” And I won’t tell how I know that God takes this prayer seriously, but HE DOES, 1000%!
Truth. Lies. Grace. Shame. These are just words that we flippantly throw around. “Half truths,” “little white lies or sins,” “shameful lies or sins”… defining these words are strongly influenced by how they were approached growing up. Our core right and wrong feelings and emotions begin before we can even speak or crawl. The reactions of those caring for us initiate the first lessons in molding our opinions and thoughts in these important areas of life.
“Truth in big and little.” This phrase was and is still used frequently in my home. It’s almost one of those phrases that just spills out when my lie detector goes off. I love children, and yes, I may have told a few I have eyes in the back of my head (whoops! sorry about that lie), because I just get a good feeling when something is stirring. I can say I’m not always right, I am willing to be wrong. The bottom line is truth is one of the things at the top of my list of expectations- for everyone, 0-100+. Children just find it more amusing when I catch them, not so much adults.
I have been known to say, “bluntness is my spiritual gift.” Jokingly, of course, but I don’t shy away from speaking the truth too often. God is doing his work in me, refining when to speak and when to muzzle my mouth. 😉
Let’s get to the words above… Truth, my definition would be, whole truth in the big and little. There’s no half truths, only whole truths. Lies, a lie is a lie, period. White, black, red, blue, pink, I don’t care what color you want to put with it, it’s a lie. Little lies only lead to bigger lies, so honestly, I view lies as the same- they all lead to a road of someone getting hurt. When it comes to “discipline” or “correction” or whatever you would like to call what is implemented for the lie in your household, there are two ways this path can lead: grace or shame. Grace is how I believe it was handled in my household- with understanding, love, and also age appropriate consequences. (I’ll get to in a minute) Then there is shame- which is completely uncalled for. We all were children once – we all have had to learn our share of lessons. A key point I want to make with grace and shame is this: grace is not passive, grace is giving the opportunity to learn for further growth. And shame must not be confused with embarrassment. Shame is dehumanizing. Embarrassment can quite frequently come with the appropriate consequences, because usually privileges are taken away for some time. Shame scars, embarrassment is temporary- you may remember it, but most likely you will laugh later.
The phrase, “I can’t remember a time…” is being said a lot right now. And there is truth to most of these statements. Although sin/hate/lies/etc has been rampant since the Garden of Eden. There has always been “unrest” stirring. Yes, I am as weary as the next person, about what all is happening. I’ve been thinking what is the most aggravating thing, the thing that is ripping my heart apart, leaving my brain in a fog? Navigating and discerning the truth verses the lies, constantly fact checking, because I know the opposite was said or promised. This, I can’t remember a time when my parents, grandparents, teachers, mentors ever talked of a time of such a tragedy of tangled webs of lies and very little truths.
I am a visual learner. Picture a plate that has special meaning to you. Picture dropping that plate and then picking up the pieces. You gather all the pieces and start to glue it back together, which becomes harder that you first thought, because matching up the pieces is like an impossible puzzle. There are chips and missing pieces. You work and work and work until there is nothing more you can do, but you wanted to keep the plate because of what it meant to you. It’s no longer able to hold food or serve food, but you have it because it’s important to you. So take this picture and instead of a plate, insert the heart of someone you love. Plate = the heart of someone you love, you told a lie (dropped) and broke their trust. You try to make up for the lie, but there are pieces of trust in your loved one’s heart that are missing, which leaves them with questions the next time they ask you for the truth. What’s different about the heart and the plate is that you CAN earn the trust, fill the gaps in, of your loved one’s heart. You only have to make truth the upmost priority. Your loved one sees you as a very important person in their life and doesn’t want to lose you- they want to regain trust.
I have a hard time with leaders who compulsively lie, any leader. If you are in the position of a leader- teacher, coach, elected official, pastor, ministry leader, and so on- you have been placed in this position because you are to be trusted. The beginning of trust is truth.
I am of the generation that Y2K was a big deal to some. I didn’t grow up in an environment that put fear into people’s heads and hearts. We watched SNL and probably laughed too hard at the impressions and reenactment of the “predictors.” I did grow up in a community of people who believed in prayer and the one and only God who can hear, see, know, and answer those prayers. And HE DID, over and over and continues to, and He won’t stop! So I will be praying, and I hope you will join me, in praying for ALL lies to be caught and held accountable. No matter if it’s a little child or the largest billionaire or the world’s most influential leader. A lie is a lie and truth is the truth. Can I get a Hallelujah? 😊
Life Book of the Week: Martha Doesn’t say Sorry, by Samantha Berger
