Stealing Boredom.
“I find myself worrying most that when we hand our children phones, we steal their boredom from them. As a result, we are raising a generation of writers who never start writing, artists who will never start doodling, chefs who will never make a mess of the kitchen, athletes who will never kick a ball against a wall, musicians who will never pick up their aunt’s guitar and start strumming.”
Glennon Doyle
I came across this quote this past week and instantly I felt heard, somehow. Quotes do this for me sometimes, well most of the time. I finished up writing mine and Lucy’s forever and always family story last week, and when I go back and read these journal pages it always reminds that, yes indeed, I am a Mommy, and yes, her and I are our own little family. No matter what the world can see. No matter how much it feels as if people forget or ignore this fact, doesn’t make it any less true. I studied, I researched, I prepared, I longed, I prayed, I shed blood, sweat, tears, and laid everything at the foot of the cross for her and I. I didn’t do it perfectly, but I am a parent, a Mommy, Lucy’s. I share this name with her life-giving Mommy, I will forever be grateful to her for giving me this wonderful gift of a lifetime!
Somedays, I think, “I really shouldn’t write on the subject of _______. Because it’s really a ‘parenting’ subject.” It seems to my human brain, that it would seem arrogant, because I was an earthly parent for six months, but Jesus is quick to shut that thought down. And quickly remind me of all the amazing lessons I have learned from the families I have been able to be apart of caring for their kids. Also, I am reminded of all of the people that have made those lifetime marks on me. Parents can’t do all the work!
So, when it seems like I may be giving “parenting advice,” I don’t give advice. That’s not my thing. I like to make myself think, make you think, make the world think, “what about that?” slow down in the midst of constant chaos and schedules.
Okay. Let’s jump into the quote 😊
BORED. If this was even whispered in my house, there was a chore found for you to do. No pay. You say you are bored, and there are things to be done. This didn’t change with my niece and nephew, who also my parents grandkids, which the other thing that didn’t change was how we/they speak to each other, which I didn’t think would change. But I love to just say the word in front of my niece and nephew, and they start going crazy! “Don’t say that!” 😂 Of course, you don’t have to say it too many times before you just get used to finding something to do as a habit, and forgetting the B word.
Think about it though… when you had free time as a kid, what did you do? And what did you learn about life and about yourself during these times?
We had a big yard and part of it had lots of rock. I would go and dig up rocks and then wash them with the hose pipe (that’s what we call it in the south) for hours! What did I do with the rocks? I couldn’t tell you. I am pretty sure my parents or brother threw them back where I dug them up, because there was a never ending amount of rocks to dig up.
I also would spend hours dressing Barbies, Dolls, my American Girl doll. I wasn’t really the pretend imagination type of kid, I just really liked making up the outfits. I didn’t even like Barbies really, I just liked that I could style their hair.
The farthest I ever really got at pretending was playing restaurant or dance studio. Playing restaurant was mainly making the menus, taking orders on guest checks, and using a cash register that I got for Christmas. Dance Studio was really a dream for me. I dreamed about being a dance instructor. Unfortunately it only took one instructor during only a couple of classes to smother that dream. It went crashing fast. But that didn’t stop my brother and I from playing and pretending he was the DJ, for my dance studio, while I made up the choreography!
There is something about paint that my brother and I somehow always got into. He liked to paint his matchbox cars. And I seemed to always have paint, paper, art supplies around. But one day, we got the bright idea that one of our cabinets in the basement needing a little uplift with finger paints. All I remember is that we were going to town with red and blue paint, and one of our parents, maybe both, came down the stairs, and we froze. What do you say? I have no memory of what happened, but my best guess is that we had to clean it up and then laughed until our stomachs hurt! I mean it wasn’t the walls!?!?
Funny note: My Mom did this same thing to an art cabinet of mine that was in the basement. I was painting or making something, and I looked up and she had started just painting the cabinet 😂 So I guess you could say it runs in the family. Especially since it has been my brother’s job for over ten years now too!
I learned many things from these free times: I eventually had no patience for sweating, so the patience for being a rock collector was a negative, plus that took too much brain power and science. I still love dressing up dolls and fixing their hair. I guess this developed into having fun with my nieces’ hair, and also really preparing for my precious Lucy’s hair. Not to toot my own horn, but I was getting my braids down and tight! I never dreamed of a restaurant, but I do love scanning products and working a register, so that really did predict some of my future 😊 I still love to dance, I get winded much faster, but love to learn the newest “viral” dance that is circulating. (That is totally not the up to date lingo) And my brother and I still share a love of music that is a vast as the genres and decades go! I still doodle almost everyday!
The treasures of my childhood are things I wrote, art I made, the piano lessons I took, the dance pictures and videos, the science experiment that my mom and I did that exploded when it wasn’t supposed to, learning you have to boil the eggs before you dye them, figuring out sports were not for me because cleats were not comfortable, and that was that.
When I began keeping kids, I would love to get to know them. If they liked to read, what did they like to read? If they liked to color, I wanted to color with them. If they like cars or trains, I wanted to learn their favorites. If they played an instrument, I wanted to hear them play, yes, even the drums! And now that most of these “kids” are adults now, I love thinking back on what they loved when they were little, and what they are interested in and doing now. I have been able to purchase art from my coloring buddies. And my musicians are in bands and doing some amazing music and production work. The adventurers who kept me on my toes, are reaching those who need hope, laughter, and a lot of silliness. My automobile lovers are welding and building.
But the one thing that they all have in common is that they all at one time while I kept them asked me, “Miss Anna, what are we going to do now?” And my response, “What would you like to do?”
Life gets busy. Schedules fill up. School is starting back up. Sports are starting back. After school activities. There is the temptation to excuse all the busyness, because all these things are colliding at once. But are they really? I am an adult who began struggling in fourth grade. Not only at school, but my homework, if my parents would have let it, would have taken me from the moment I left school until time to go to school the next morning. Don’t get me wrong, school is necessary. Friends are important. But so is giving our children and ourselves free time. Even if you have to schedule it, for it to start to become a habit. It’s being reported, and I can see it, that children are becoming more anxious- now I am not an expert by any means, but just a thought, if they had a chance to learn a little bit about themselves, for themselves, instead of the world telling them who they are, do you think we could lower anxiety levels? I mean, a pack of paper, some markers, and a little doodling everyday lowers my heart rate… I has to do something similar for kids brains and bodies…
Maybe ask this week, What do you want to do? You might learn something new about a kid in your life!
Life Book of the Week: I Ain’t Gonna Paint No More, by Karen Beaumont
Credit for picture today goes to my mom 😊 But also reminds me of something I loved to do in high school and even now, which is just taking my camera and taking pictures of all different kinds of things. This was with a 35mm camera. Now, this is so easy and simple with digital cameras and phones! I have even gotten the kids cameras and let my niece and nephew take pictures on trips and around the house, and they capture some amazing things! Also, a great responsibility earning thing, they have to keep up with the camera, charging cord, and case. I started them with kid friendly cameras, and now they have pocket digital cameras that they keep at our house for trips or just when they want to go exploring. It’s fun to see life through their lens!
