Thoughts from a Maker of Lists
Be honest, how many of you just chuckled or said Amen to the above image?
There have been so many nights that I have been sound asleep, and wake up so quickly, because my brain decided it was time to remember what I forgot to do that day. If I don’t write something down right away, or type it into my phone, it leaves me the moment I walk away from a conversation or the thing that reminded me to do whatever needed to be done.
In the past, I have tried not looking at my phone during the night, which limited me from putting things into my to do list on my phone. But between my horrible vision, trying to write on a notebook in the dark, and attempting to read what I had written the next morning, I gave up on that fairly quickly.
I’m not great a remembering, but I am also not a fantastic sleeper. Although I have trained myself to lay in bed, some nights it takes an hour to fall back asleep, some nights its hours. (But no sleep apnea! ruled that out this year! shew!) So during these times I will listen to music, pray, list the ways God has been faithful, his attributes- especially when I get anxious! I also think about things to write about on here, and things I may want to write about to remember about this time of life. And for this, I am grateful for iPhones 😊 because otherwise, I would have a lot of chicken scratch and have no clue what it says!
I recently wrote out Lucy’s adoption story: the waiting, the welcoming, the letting go, and the days that followed. This required me to gather all my journals, calendars, her documents, baby book, and my letters to her. And I was amazed at how much I wrote during this six year span, five years waiting, six months with her, and the six months after her running into Jesus’ arms. I realized how much of a “call” it truly was and continues to be. And when I say call, I mean, Lucy was the one meant to be in my arms, and I was the mommy she needed for that time. Jesus’ hand was in every single detail!
One thing that stood out to me as I read over the moment memories of the days with her, was that a simple one sentence memory could launch me back to that specific moment. Isn’t that a beautiful thing? One my teachers in eighth grade challenged us to write a scripture from our daily time with Jesus every morning. To which most all of us grumbled and complained and most likely rolled our eyes. “Just another notebook to keep up with,” I remember was the thing that came to my mind first. But actually, that challenge has stuck, and I have attempted to at least write a line a day- scripture, a memory, what happened that day. I haven’t succeeded everyday, but the days that I have, it is a huge blessing to go back and see it now. Whether it was a hard clinic day, or a grandparent was sick, or a fun outing with a grandparent, or time with my niece and nephew, or time with family, whatever it is, its a wonderful way to look back and reflect.
As I write this, I am smiling because just behind me is my bed that has six drawers as the base. Three of these drawers are packed to the max with journals and books- to read and that have been read. Now when I say journals, they are made up of doodles, writings, notes, lists and more lists, memories, health history, funny things kids have said or done. Most will make no sense to anyone when I am gone, but that’s not why I have them. I wrote all these things because I had a need to write. I had a need to remember. I had a need to document something good, bad, ugly, beautiful, history, etc.
There are a few that are the closest to my heart: Lucy’s, ones that take me back to moments with family, and a special one that I have written all the people who left a mark, made an impression on me and why. Most of these people I will never get the chance to express how much of an impact they have had on my life, but the truth is they wouldn’t want the credit, and that’s what makes them leave a even bigger mark! This journal reminds me of one of my favorite Buddy Greene songs, “Vagabonds.” The first verse: “Come all you vagabonds. Come all you don’t belongs. Winners and losers. Come people like me. Come all you travelers. Tired from the journey. Come wait a while, stay a while, Welcomed you’ll be.” This welcoming feeling is what I feel with each of the people I write about. Welcomed and safe.
As my eighth grade teacher challenged me, I challenge you to write a line a day. Scripture, a memory, emotion, what’s happening in the news- there is enough of this! (I will link some of my favorite journals I have used for this – and it helps not overwhelm you with too much space😉) And as a bonus, maybe start a list of people that have made a mark on your life, or the lives around you- share this at thanksgiving, a whole lot better conversation that politics!
It’s a tough time, a time of conflict, a time of questioning what needs attention/priority first, I am as confuzzled (my niece’s word ❤️) as anyone. The want to help and the rise in premium payments are battling it out within my heart and soul daily. Let us all remember how it feels to be at our lowest of lows- and not participate in knocking and kicking people who are already down. We have all been “tired from the journey,” find ways of providing uplifting moments to others. It doesn’t have to be money or food. It can be sending a message of how they have encouraged you. Or post a positive quote or silly picture on social media. We all need some light-hearted breathing room. Write, make art, share with the world, or at least with someone close to you!
Life Book of the Week: Give Thanks to the Lord, by Karma Wilson
One line Journals:
This journal is what I currently use, since it is only one year (instead of five years) and it’s pocket sized.
The 5-year journal I used when I was waiting on Lucy- gives a little more space and I liked because it kept records and memories for multiple years.
One Line a day- 5-years also, smaller format (they also make “Mom’s one line a day” “Gratitude one line a day” and so on.)
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/denim-one-line-a-day-chronicle-books/1145972412?ean=9781797233772
