80 Hours
I didn’t forget about ya! Last week got wild and I just couldn’t get a post written and posted, I am sorry.
A little snapshot of last week… I was in the midst of one of my not so kind summer migraine multi-day battles, overwhelmed and completely at my “it’s never going away” moments. There were repairs being done at our house, so my normal “comforts” were in a room I couldn’t get too. My Mom was literally the only comfort I had. I ended up sitting in the corner of her bathroom on the cold floor (cold calms my nerves) and just crying. Frustrated with my lack of progress in our move, along with the excruciating pain, I remember repeating, “I just can’t move any faster.”
A couple of things about this snapshot: 1. If there was going to be anybody who could help me “breathe down” from this anxiety, it’s my Mom. Of course, she is the one who taught me to breathe the name of Jesus, in any situation! 2. The reason I am writing about this today- the emotional and mental pain that comes with chronic illness is very rarely seen or understood unless lived or lived with.
There is a new medicaid ruling that struck me like a ton of bricks last week. Starting in 2027, all “able bodied adults”(which who defines this?) ages 19-64, will be required to report 80 hours of work a month. Hang with me here. I know this sounds easy peasy, and for someone with no chronic illness or daily medical challenges, sure this is understandable. And yes, I know there is fraud, we are all sinners, we all make mistakes, we all need grace. There is also a lot of tax fraud, but you don’t want me to go there.
Insurance for my family has never been a walk in the park. Since I have become an adult, insurance has been a constant gut punch. I am not only medically complicated, but employment complicated. I desire to be honest and not take what isn’t mine. I tried navigating the insurance world without the marketplace and that was catastrophic! So, yes, I am a marketplace advocate until someone has a better idea. Although, if I didn’t have family around me to help, I probably wouldn’t be able to pay monthly AND for the medical bills this year. Indeed, it has gone up that much! Don’t let anyone fool you!
So, 80 hours, why does this create a nauseous feeling in my gut if I am not receiving medicaid? Well, I’ve came close to having to apply for the past 7-8 years. When Lucy was born, I was told she could be added to my insurance plan as soon as parental rights were in my name. This did not happen, they fought with me, and I ended up having to pay for a separate policy. Very thankful I did, because I of course couldn’t see the future and what was coming. But the following year, the market place, seeing that I paid for two separate policies (I was attempting the marketplace on my own at this time- won’t do this again!) and so it sent me straight to medicaid application, didn’t give me a choice of plans. This is when I began working with an insurance agent to send my application and enroll me in insurance each year. I have turned down applying for medicaid every year since. Here’s why: I would have to prove to the “approved” in-network doctors that my current doctors are essential, before medicaid would even entertain the idea of covering visits and medication prescribed. That’s one primary care and eleven specialists, and twenty plus medications. If you know the medical world, you know this is a part to full time job on general insurance. Authorizations, messages to doctors, pharmacy, insurance companies are never ending. And this is just one reason this is a gut punch.
I made the decision in my very early 20s that I would become self-employed and establish an LLC. Yes, I love gift-giving and I love crafting, but there were two bigger reasons I wanted to set this up. 1. I wanted to be a mommy. And I wanted to be able to work from home as much as possible. 2. My health wasn’t getting better, as some weirdos suggested would happen after “growing up.” Sorry for anyone out there being diagnosed with asthma, allergies, migraines in childhood, but it rarely “goes away.” I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again, if my parents didn’t make the decision to homeschool me in high school, I don’t know where I would be today. With the rule of a limited number of missed days, I would have gone through those in the first months of each school year.
Yes, I am self-employed. No, I am not a scam who just says I am self-employed. I bust my booty making sure I report my sales tax each quarter and file my taxes every year. I make sure I am charging the right sales tax for the county and state. And I am happy to say that I have done all of this with no loans, but gracious inheritance left to me. But for example, right now I am averaging 11-12 migraine days a month. That is with two preventative meds and two rescue meds. During cooler days they don’t last as long as on these crazy hot days, but they still interrupt my life. This is just migraines. And this is the only thing I chart in detail. I also daily manage asthma, allergies, two blood disorders, ADD/learning disabilities, heart rate spikes, vitamin B deficiency, bad eye sight and a good ole wrinkle on my right eye, shall I go on or is that sufficient?
As much as the 80 hours of reported work hours overwhelms me, simply because one day is not like the next, and one month is not like the other, I am devastated for the people that have no advocate, or don’t know they can advocate. I get overwhelmed and to the point of weeping “I can’t go any faster,” and I have people that remind me that’s okay.
But our nation is full of bullies the moment. Nasty, arrogant, and ignorant, is this really how we want to celebrate the grand America 250? Children crammed in hospitals due to RSV and other respiratory infections (I know this to be a fact at a hospital near us.) Many people going without insurance because it isn’t affordable, because the elected leaders we send to make these decisions, can’t work together for the greater good of everyone? They are adding more requirements on medicaid, but literally throwing years of medical research in the trash? Our vaccine stock pile that has been in progress for years, predicted by professionals, are expiring because of non-medical professionals are questioning decades of hard facts? Really?
At first I could laugh at a good joke that lightened the mood of what all was happening with health and medical world during the administration. I am a big believer in there is a thread of humor in everything, but it sure is hard to find any these days. We have had many pandemics the we were not ready for, and they took lives. But this is a pandemic of tragic lies, hurting the most vulnerable and innocent, and it’s also taking lives- and there is blood on everyone’s hands.
And in this sense, 80 hours is just a glimpse of the hurt recking havoc on our nation.
Life Book of the Week: Lord, Teach us to Pray, by Colleen Townsend Evans
This graduate’s speech has really impressed me- prayers for generations to talk to one another!!! I hope it encourages you.
