Swaddled No More!!!

Words we hear around Christmas: Longing. Expecting. Arrival. Welcoming. Receiving. Giving.

These words have me really digging and searching this Christmas season. I’m not completely sure why, but I have a couple of thoughts, and I would just like to share them with you today.

The picture for today’s post is the Christmas BEFORE Lucy arrived. I know I know, crazy prepared, maybe, but she was set for about five or six Christmas’s and birthdays 😊 That was IF i could keep it all out of reach 😂! (this was the “scene” for around 4 Christmas before she arrived).

The “stuff” is not the point of what I am wanting to focus on today. This is only the visual of the larger longing that was in my heart!

I was deeply LONGING with great EXPECTATION for her ARRIVAL! And when she arrived I was more than excited to WELCOME her and RECEIVE her into my arms and into my family, and GIVE her everything I could and more!

May I remind you, I am a Christmas baby, never once did I hear my parents complain about this fact, nor did I ever hear my mom be upset about being pregnant around Christmas. People certainly asked the questions, “don’t you hate being a Christmas baby?” “do you get combined presents?” “wasn’t it miserable to be pregnant during Christmas?” Well, facts are: 1. I happy to be alive 2. I was raised to be thankful for any gift I received. But actually, I didn’t receive a lot of combined gifts. 3. My parents were told they would have no more after my brother, so if I do say so myself, I was a pretty good present at Christmastime 😊💕 And my PawPaw had a heart attack just before Christmas the year before my brother was born, and the family was called in because he wasn’t expected to live. He did live and in addition to his two grandsons who were already born, he lived to see my brother and I born, and two of his three great grandsons, and four of his six great granddaughters. We are pretty grateful during this time of year.

These above reminders are only to point out that this time of year has a great bit of significance to me. So I tend to be more reflective this time of year, but have grown to be even more so since waiting on Lucy, her arrival and her running back into the arms of Jesus. Some days I feel like “Jesus could I just have a conversation with Mary, please?” Although our experiences are far from being the same, there is the longing, expectation, arrival, welcome, receiving, and giving. Let me try to put it into words…

LONGING: craving; desire; hunger; thirst. The “before Lucy” longing was constant. My prayer usually consisted of something like: “Jesus, You know, you see, You called me to this, and I know You will see it through.” My longing and my prayer now is this: “Jesus, Your Will. Your timing. Keep my head up, my eyes on You. I’m ready more than ever. Increase my longing to see Your face, and then the faces of those who have ran ahead!” I am learning how to surrender and truly long for His face, His presence first. Simply because He is the one who sacrificed it all so that I can be with my little girl and those I love, who are with Christ, again. Tough to swallow, but it is a must! The beautiful thing is when you are apart of the communion of saints, there should be glimpses of His face all around you, including you.

EXPECTATION: looking forward. Oh how I dreamed and imagined what it was going to be like to have a little girl! From diapers to hair bows, socks to rompers, car seats to toys, diaper bag(s) 😊 to accessories. She was set for every holiday! She even had a little purse for Christmas outings! (Thanks to Swing😊) I had every emotion. I had multiple “usually this only happens to pregnant women” health issues. But I kept pressing forward. I continue to press forward, I wait with great expectation for the day of no more tears, no more pain, no more fear, just pure and truly perfect.

ARRIVAL: to come; appear. Nothing like the first time you hold your baby! For Mary, I try to imagine, but I can only imagine a tiny bit. But after long travels, being turned away, in great pain, and finally, the baby she has been told she would deliver, Jesus. In her arms, she holds the Savior, she doesn’t know all He is going to do, but she does know that he has been placed in her care, and she is his mommy for such a time as this! Now on a smaller scale, I traveled to the town Lucy was born in, was happy the hotel didn’t turn me away, and had to wait until the next day to actually meet her and hold her. But the moment I saw her, she was mine. The moment I held her, we became a family!

WELCOMING: receive gladly into one’s presence or companionship. Lucy and I indeed welcomed each other! She would be in the NICU for a few days after I arrived. I would arrive in the morning and leave after the night shift change. My parents were with me, and they would do food runs, and would hold her while I ate! We welcomed her no matter how many 2 minute hand washes we had to do, or yellow gowns we got tangled in! Of course there were no gowns or hand wash when Jesus was born, but Mary and Joseph welcomed Jesus, they followed the instructions that the angel of God had given them.

RECEIVING: welcome; acquire. Lucy was and is a gift of a lifetime. Her mom first had to make the choice to give her life, and then she was faced with the choice of what was best long term for her baby girl. She gave me the best gift I have ever received! To be completely honest, I struggle a bit with receiving, I would rather be the giver, BUT Lucy helped me learn big lessons about receiving well. To receive help, care, and gifts. That receiving well is as important as giving. Being grateful for the people who come around you and support you, and what has been provided and prepared. No act or gift or encouragement is too small. However, the ultimate gift we must receive is Jesus, his sacrifice for us, his strength in our weakness, his working among us although we may not see. We must receive and keep our hearts and minds focused upward!

GIVING: enter whole-heartedly into an activity; to allow one to have or receive. Since Lucy has ran ahead, I have become more of a “if I don’t use it, give it away or toss it” person. My grip has loosened a great bit, only by the grace of God! Your perspective gets completely reframed when you watch your child go before you. It literally feels like you are giving all of your heart and soul and mind everyday. And honestly I pray that I am. I hope that everyday that: I acknowledge I am a sinner in need of a Savior, who indeed is Jesus Christ, who has given me so much, and who did indeed place Lucy in my arms. I pray that I will give my heart, soul and mind to the Master Artist, Creator, and Savior, who promises He will return and He will make all things new!

Now, I am AWAITING: to anticipate; hope; to be ready and waiting. Awaiting many things, both now and eternal. Because the baby wrapped in swaddling clothes didn’t stay swaddled, nor did he stay in the grave, nor did he leave us with no hope. He gave us the best gift we could ever receive! Let us welcome His gift and receive Him, long with expectancy with the communion of saints, in awaiting the coming of Jesus, and a new heaven and new earth!

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Life Book of the Week: The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey, by Susan Wojciechowski