A Continuous Conversation

Happy Thursday! Tomorrow, I think, is one of the most fun holidays! St. Patricks Day, A.K.A. in our house, “Man under the leaf day,” because I couldn’t remember what it was called when I was little, so I re-named it 😊 As we do many things in our family. “Fat butter” = hunk of cheese. “Spagatical” = Sabbatical. Just to name a few…

I just love any holiday that gets kids excited. Well come to think of it, I guess I’m a kid at heart because I get as excited as they do! One family that I kept years ago, the leprechauns would visit their house and would leave their toilet water green, make them green pancakes, and even leave them some green ketchup! They were always sad to find out the leprechauns didn’t visit me, I told them I would make sure they did when I had kids! 😊

I’ve been thinking back on this time with this family and the many other families that I was blessed to be apart of their lives, the lessons, the wisdom, the overall experiences that I was privileged to have had, the relationships built, and I am exceedingly grateful for each one. Some families I have lost contact with, and honestly, I would love to know how they are doing and where they are now. Some families I have kept in close contact, and I love getting updates on how they are and what they are doing now. We just pick up right where we left off the last time we saw each other.

A continuous conversation, walking together, living life together, maybe not side by side, but the knowledge that we are together in this life – together. Isn’t that what Jesus did? He walked, taught, dined, shared, asked questions, answered questions, laughed, prayed, rested along with his friends.

So where am I going with this?

As you know very well by now, my heart is for children, the next generations. I’ll be honest, it has always irritated me when assuming comments are made about “tweens,” “teens,” or when comments generalizing generations are made. To be quite frank, if these undercutting comments are being made, why would this age group even want raise their standards for themselves? I remember being in high school and hearing, “Oh they are just being high schoolers, they’ll learn sooner or later.” And I remember thinking, “Really? So high schoolers are not worth your time? If we are not worth your time, then what are we worth to you?” I am so thankful that I DID have adults in my life that didn’t use this type of language. This language seems to have heightened over the years, putting more “categories” and “stigmas” on everyone – millennials, GenX, Baby boomers, and obviously my nerves are rattled!

Everyone is born with a deep need to belong. However, making the world more categorized by group/class/label/etc, is this really going to solve this need?

I don’t see a need to make a list of all the “labels” we put on ourselves and others- they are so clearly spoken in the world around us. I do encourage you to think about do these labels help or hurt your relationships, do they hinder new relationships?

With our upcoming generations in mind, I present these next questions and thinking points, and encourage you to pay attention when these things come up, and have a continuous conversation with the children around you. Get their thoughts. Discover where they stand. Conversation must be more than one person talking- share, not lecture. 😉

• How do the loud overpowering authority voices affect your thoughts and decisions? Do you let their labels override their harsh loudness? Or does the harshness override the labels?
• How do you discern what is right and what is wrong? Do you filter it through what others say? Do you filter it through God’s Word? Do you filter it through “what feels right?”
• What informs your decisions?
• What are the determining factors for what is age appropriate? Clothes, Media, Conversations, Freedoms, Boundaries, Friends, Etc.
• How do we love and listen well to those who we may disagree with?
• When does a child become an adult? Does their age make them an adult? Completely independent? Who defines this- the child or the parent?
• What is the most important things you want to communicate clearly and talk about with the children in your life?

Now, let me address one more thing, that being miscommunicated/misunderstood or compromised/changing morals in some of the current adult generations. This is a tough thing for me to address because it is so wide spread at the moment but it needs to be put out there. There used to be this moral backbone that most people shared. It varied on different levels, but the core was strong. I have studied and researched the slow crumble of this moral backbone, but I am still quite baffled by why it crumbled. (the crumbling of this moral backbone is having a huge impact on the, now, younger generations that are shaping their own moral backbones) Clarity: this is not me being judgmental, these are simply observations. Examples:

• I am going to jump right in on the first observation: Alcohol. At one time there were homes that you knew as a kid or even as an adult, that stood firm in no alcohol in their home at any time. However, slowly over my adult life these homes have radically changed this mindset. Not only is there alcohol readily in the home- underage drinking is allowed within the walls of the home. But if you want to discuss the subject of alcohol, it is all the sudden all about legalism, and for some reason you are shut down and are not allowed talk about safety or concern for another. The concern also for someone who stood firm on their beliefs and then quickly changed with the world’s thoughts, deeply concerns me in what else is being compromised?
• Another is the sanctity of marriage. Virginity is important, and I am not writing this off by no means. But I want to focus more on the seen – taking steps of becoming a “unit” before there is a “union.” The flippant acceptance of the world’s “let’s live together, make sure we like each other enough,” mindset. Or the “we need to save money for a wedding.” Sure those sound like reasonable excuses, but how many end in marriage? And if the marriage does come, help me understand what’s there to celebrate? What’s the point of a honeymoon? And if children are involved – well that’s a whole other post.
• These are the only two I will address today, but I do encourage you to think about morals that you may have had a firm stand on and now that has changed and why. Or maybe you were misunderstood or miscommunicated where you stand, if so, write it out, explain what you meant. It’s important for our children to know where we are firm in our beliefs and actions and why we are. If you are a follower of Jesus, I encourage you to ask yourself, “what’s the testimony am I living?” Line it up with Scripture. By no means try to read into my words! I am nothing – He is EVERYTHING!

My hope is that these questions and thoughts inspire and motivate you to think and research and go out into the world – to your children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, friends, family, all children, all people – and live in a ongoing, continuing conversation. We don’t have to be loud or obnoxious, we only need to be who HE made us to be, and use the mind, heart, and soul that HE has given us. Go and communicate in your silence, in speech, in action, in emotion, in writing, in praying, in art, in teaching, in the ordinary, in the daily …

**Disclaimer: I am asking these questions of myself too. I believe wholeheartedly that we must if we are to actually begin to love people and not love them because of their labels.**

Life Book of the Week: St. Patrick’s Day in the Morning, by Eve Bunting