"Life" Books,  Children,  Grief,  Memories,  My Little

Children Matter. 100%. Period.

I come to you today, as a broken Mommy with a brain full of grief fog. Please bear with me!

First, I cannot and will not ignore the loss of children’s lives this week. Never is it okay to get numb to the fact that CHILDREN are having their lives cut short, in any sort of way! When it’s intentionally done at the hands of adults, I can’t even come up with a strong enough word. I grieve with these families 100%. There absolutely has the be a change! Honestly, there has to be a lot of changes, not just politically or policy wise, but heart, soul, and mind change, daily practice and character change, a change that sees all children, 24 hours a day-7 days a week -365 days a year. Guns, yes are the #1 reason for children’s deaths right now, and this is absolutely terrible. Have you also seen any reporting on children being found in cages, or in chains, or found brutally abused in their foster care homes or after they have been “reunited” with their biological parents who they have separated from multiple times? Yeah, these don’t make many news reports.

Here is my bottom line: Children are dying. Yes, this massive shooting is horrific. But in NY more babies are aborted than babies born. Childhood cancer research is way underfunded. Matter of fact, most all childhood illnesses are greatly underfunded. If this is how we plan to charge ahead in our country, to put it straight to ya, we are literally killing the next generation! Our children MUST become our priority! Their health-mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually- MUST become a priority. Their safety MUST become more important than freedom of rights. Children should be being raised and protected, adults should be fully raised and equipped! As adults, we MUST act as just that, ADULTS, and train, equip, teach, affirm, encourage, discipline children. Prepare them to be bold and well-equipped adults.

Take my words above how you choose, but I must speak truth in love. Also, I encourage you to pray through Psalm 46- I received a newsletter this week that recommended this – and it really does hit every part of the hard in our country.

Now onto what I had planned to write about before the events of this week happened, for real!

The picture today is of what I like to call, “Lucy’s Tree.” It started out as a metal tree with lots of branches with beautiful glass leaves. But in the process of downsizing many leaves decided to break on us, so now I have a new one! One my dad and I built out of 1″x4″s and a bunch of cute drawer pulls.

Right after Lucy was scooped up, I really needed something that I could visually see everyday that was her. Pictures were awesome, but I needed something a little more, something that would remind me of the memories we made. If you have ever had a child run ahead, you know that your energy level plummets when you child is no longer with you. You would think that snuggling with her for two weeks I would have energy, but I never experienced such a feeling. It’s not exhaustion, and it’s not the normal lack of energy, it’s a paralyzed lack of energy, time is completely frozen. I describe this because I needed something visually for really two reasons: 1. Remind me Lucy DID come and she was and is my little girl. 2. That I was still her mommy and I now needed to continue to fight for her name to be said, and her light to still shine brightly- her story to continue!

So her story has and will continue… And that’s exactly what her tree reminds me of. It is a collection of memories we had together, with her physically present and heart and soul present. Memories that say her name and keep her alive in our hearts. (This can be done for anyone of any age – and really could be a fun thing to do with any children! Doesn’t just have to be someone who ran ahead!)

What do you need? I started with ornaments that my mom had gotten one Christmas while I was waiting on the call to come for Lucy. She gave me an ornament every day until Christmas, for Lucy’s Adoption Waiting Tree 😊 So that was a good start! I am also my Paw-Paw’s granddaughter, so I love getting Christmas ornaments every year for the kids in the family, so Lucy had some from my “waiting time.” She had a comb that was HER comb, so I tied a string around it and hung it on the tree. A couple that has been a big influence in my life, had given Lucy a silver cross ornament, this one stays on the tree year around. When we had her finalization, she wore little ballet slippers, I documented the date, and where and wrote her a note on the soles, so I hung them on the tree…

Now five years later, I have to change the ornaments with the seasons.

In Spring, (March, April, May) I hang up memories of Easter, Mother’s Day, Finalization, and springtime happiness. (Pictured above) Easter eggs, crafts made by cousins, Mother’s day memories, memories of placing locks with cousins on a sculpture in a downtown area.

In Summer, (June, July, August) I hang up summertime memories, July 4th celebrations, Father’s day, memories of her being scooped up.

In Fall, (September, October, November) Although we didn’t have this time together, I hang up wishes and “missing you” notes, things that make me think of her – school, halloween, and Thanksgiving – also memories we have made with her in our hearts.

In Winter, (December, January, February) I hang up her Christmas ornaments- yes, she continues to get one each year! Memories from her birthdays and her cousins birthdays, and of course, Valentine’s Day!

Two places I get ornaments in her memory every year, and the money also goes to great causes, are: Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, and Sufficient Grace Ministries.

https://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org

https://sufficientgraceministries.org

Another very special item on her tree, is the “tree skirt” and the garland. Both of these things are made of her clothes, and both are changed with the seasons 😊. My parents gave me the most wonderful gift of two quilts made of her clothes. And we were given the option of having the scraps sent back with the quilt. I figured I could find something to do with them! They were too precious to throw away! So I made garland, and then the “tree skirts.” (And later I’ll share something else I have created with these scraps 💕) They just keep giving new life and hope! Lucy’s life will not stop as long as I have breath… And this is our story, this is our song! Jesus loves the little children. Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in then kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:3-4)

Will you choose the faces of adults to drive your choices and character? Or will you, like Jesus, call the children to you, hold their face in you hands, guide their eyes upward, and allow these faces and these hearts to move you toward change? Will you help me pray for this for our leaders and our law makers?

Life Book of the week: What Grieving People Wish You Knew, by Nancy Guthrie

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