Reminders that She was Here
Somedays I see her in every moment. And then somedays I must search, as though she is playing hide and seek, just like I would imagine her as a five year old would be doing.
The arrival of Lucy was long-awaited. The running into Jesus’ arms was fast! The in-between was everything I could have ever hoped for and more! I can’t say “gone too soon,” because I know and firmly believe that Jesus doesn’t do things “too soon.” Arrivals and departures are in His hands. In my human nature, yes I have times of questioning and frustration. But the only thing that brings me peace: His promises and laying my disappointment at His feet.
Let me just give you a snapshot of what Lucy had “accumulated” in the five years before she arrived. First, I believed from the moment God started to direct me in the direction of adoption that He would be faithful to see it through. So I began picking little things up for her before I even had an approved application. My mom would sneak a few little hints that she believed also. After I started asking for prayer and had a completed home study, that’s when the real accumulation started 😊. My Christmas list started to become a list that would be her future Christmas gifts, like American Girl, Fisher Price Toys, etc. My niece, my nephew, and four little girl cousins passed along clothes and shoes. It is safe to say that Lucy would be clothed through most all of her growing years! 😊 It also gave me time to spread out the pricer items – car seat, co sleeper, etc.
Now most all these things have been given to families I know and love or local places that I love. The families that received the items, have kindly allowed me to watch and welcome new generations into the world, while also sharing with me how they are allowing Lucy’s life to continue to bless them and her story to carry on. This is priceless.
Of course there were a few things I held onto…
Daily reminders that Lucy was here and the memories we made… Would you like to go back with me for a moment?
The shadow box above…
Oh the Jackie O sunglasses. If you know me, you know I am all about protecting eyes- especially children! Start as young as you can. Lucy was wearing these within the first week she was out of the hospital and she didn’t mind at all! They almost covered her whole face, but she did not like the sun in her eyes!
The bunny hat, a purchase before she arrived, before we even knew it would snow bucket loads the month she was born!
Lots of pacis! Pacis in pockets, car seats, beds, drawers, changing tables, diaper bags, pjs, under beds… had to have them!
Bows and headbands! Remember five years. And also the headbands that my Grandma made for me from hosiery scraps from local mills. These are some of my favorite!
Sheep slippers and lion slippers, oh my! Another fact about me- I love shoes! Comfortable shoes! These two pair waited a long time for these long and lean sweet feet!
She was ready for summer with her swim cap! I tried to learn as much as I could about her hair and skin in preparation for her arrival. We were ready to protect that beautiful hair at all costs 😊
Lucy barrettes- such a good memory. My niece and I found these in a local toy store. She found her name, “Lillian,” and then was super excited to find Lucy’s name!
In the background are clothing scraps leftover from the quilts made of her clothing.
Shadowbox #2:
Puppy Paci Buddy that she had a love/hate relationship with. She loved it when she had the paci in her mouth and she could study the puppy’s face. But if the puppy wasn’t giving her the paci, she let the puppy know she was not happy!
Sunshine and bug rattle socks were chosen by my niece and nephew on a bittersweet last visit to Toys-R-Us, that was most certainly a MUST for Lucy to experience.
Teethers or amusing sensory bracelets 😂 They can do many things all at one time! Never underestimate the curiosity of a infant!
More bows and headbands! Never can have enough of these!
Hospital “grip” socks, toddler size or bigger, but they worked! She had to have the oxygen monitor around her foot and she was a talented little one. She could do tricks with cords and have them alarming before anyone could catch her. From pulling out oxygen tube to ripping off the oxygen monitor – she was the master! At home we used the Owlet sock, so she was not used to having a cord coming out of her sock! 😕 (Side note: Her oxygen and heart rate is what kept her in the NICU and she also had a hole in her heart which eventually closed on it’s on- but if I could recommend any Must Have for a Baby Registry – The Owlet Sock! The price may/will shock you – but believe me, it is 1000% worth it! Even Lucy’s KidsPath nurse appreciated it, because it monitored all this and helped us know vitals in her last few days! I will link at the bottom of page!)
The lone sandal- somewhere between the doctor’s office, the emergency room, and being admitted to the hospital we lost a shoe! If I’m totally honest, they were a little big, but I dressed her especially cute that day because I knew something wasn’t right and the day was going to be tough. My mom always dressed me in happy clothes on the days I had doctors appointments, and I will never forget it. So this sandal plus her super skinny feet plus her mighty karate kicks, it had no chance!
And the pink footie shoes, the shoes that fit perfectly! Kick proof. Warm. Easy.
And the first item I ever purchased for just her: moccasins! Warm and lined brown leather moccasins, a splurge, and totally worth every penny!
Well, I hope you enjoyed walking through the reminders that she was here. And in some ways she is still here.
And most of all the reminder that the “too soons” and the “never happens” are not up to us, and the reality is they do happen. What is up to us is how we respond to the Master Who Sees All and Knows All. God is the only One who HOLDS ALL!
Life Book of the Week: The Last Sweet Mile, by Allen Levi
