Welcoming the Unexpected
“Each person’s grief is as unique as their fingerprint.”
-David Kessler
One of the most critical and life-changing lessons I have come to simply accept is this: grief is a practice of welcoming the unexpected. Tears, emotions, feelings, rise up when you didn’t even realize they were waiting to, or needing to. I find that the brokenness of the surrounding world breaks me more now, than ever before. I know some of this comes with age, but I cannot deny that very much of it is perspective.
I have a Daily Light (I’ll link at the bottom of page) that sits open in my bathroom, to today’s date. I have had it since 5th grade. So when I say it has been loved and life-changing days have been noted on the pages, I am not meaning one or two pages, you will find this all the way through. So the other day when I turned the page, my note was: “2018: Lucy’s EKG/ECHO Clear! Jesus has sealed it!” The Jesus part, was my niece’s reaction when I told her the good news, to which she said with an “of course He did” tone. 😊 The picture above is peaceful, but don’t let it fool you! Moments before she was red face mad! I gave her a bottle, and she fell asleep, which she NEVER did! She would always have tummy rolls, but she slept until all the stickies had to come off- which who doesn’t want to scream when they take these off?!?! I was holding my breath all day. The results could be heart surgery, try medicine for a little bit, or the hole could have closed by itself. By the time we met with the doctor and she said it was fully closed, I burst into tears! I had grown up in this children’s clinic, it was all familiar, but when it is your little one, it is SO different. It’s amazing how this day she was “clear” of any major health concerns, just had normal baby tummy troubles. Not knowing in four months what a miracle, not only that her heart sealed, but that she was in my arms for the time that she was!
I find little sneaky tears rolling down my face, because I cannot help but think often about what we would be doing today. Right now everyone is getting ready for spring break and vacations. Growing up we took a few trips for spring break, but most of the time we had a staycation, or went to our lake house, or did some day trips. And so I’ve been thinking about all the places I had wanted to take her, see her reaction, make memories. The few outings and adventures we did have, were mostly with her cousins, which I wouldn’t have it any other way. A basketball game, a college women’s basketball game, children’s choir performance at church, Toys’r’us, Mama Dips (the first restaurant she ever went into and we sat down!).
There were so many more adventures I was longing to take her on. Like going to Charlotte with her cousins to the Billy Graham Library, and staying in a hotel, and going to all our favorite places around there. Taking her to the toy store that my brother and I went to as kids, and that I took my niece and nephew to, to make their Christmas lists. Ride to the mountains, listen to bluegrass, eat good food. Go to the beach in the fall, teach her that God’s thoughts of us outnumber the grains of sand. Take her to a mini golf course.
Nashville and other Tennessee towns would be on the list too. Georgia, South Carolina, Virginia, these would be all places that I would want to take her to also. But it’s the trips that are simple, small, and unhurried that I desired for her and I, and that I remember most from being little.
I have a challenge for you who have children and are thinking Spring Break and Summer Vacations: 1. You have this moment. 18 summers is what we are given, if we are allowed that. Use them wisely. 2. Capture the moments. Make it a priority to take the pictures. You are the parents-they will want the memories. And make it clear that no one will post them on social media, even better take them with an “old school” camera!!! No need for instant satisfaction on vacation. Tape the screen if you have a digital camera, and challenge yourself to not look at the pictures until AFTER you are back home. And treat these pictures as the most precious treasures of your life- which you wouldn’t put out on display for the whole world to know about. You don’t want to be robbed! 3. Make the trip about the whole family. Allow all members of the family to be in on the planning, packing, unpacking, loading, unloading, and responsibilities that will be something to build on for their future responsibilities. 4. Have fun! If you aren’t going to enjoy or participate during the trip, reconsider. Everyone should enjoy the vacation- it is a FAMILY vacation. 5. Have such a good time that it brings a tear to your eye years down the road, when they are grown and flown!
Life Book of the Week: Little North Carolina, by Carol Crane. This is a whole series: Little State Series https://sleepingbearpress.com/shop/search_results?search%5Border%5D=relevance&search%5Bq%5D=little+state&search%5Bproduct_formats_format_id_in%5D%5B%5D=6
Daily Light:
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