What makes a house a Home?

Last week I left you with this: “It’s a peculiar thing that began to manifest itself inside my soul when Lucy ran ahead. Home. It can’t be defined by things. My home is with my people – it will always be somewhat here and a whole bunch ran ahead. And there is a peace there- Jesus gives me peace.”

I admit I slip up and find myself holding onto things too tightly. But as the years have been added to my life, the physical things I tend to hold onto have changed with the seasons of life. Change. I used to fear this word. Trembled at the sound of it being spoken. Not little changes, but big changes- like moving houses, let alone moving cities. Leaving the place I will always refer to as my earthly home, my childhood home. It will always be home, because I lived there 30+ years. I welcomed my daughter home there. I welcomed my niece and nephew, my little cousins there. Memories galore live there.

But what do I carry with me that makes each house a home? Well, come right in and I tell ya. 😉

Family is always the first and biggest consideration. Will it benefit each person? Will this move strengthen relationships? To all these questions, we felt the answer was yes. We are much closer in proximity to my brother’s family, their activities, and just the knowledge that they are close is a wonderful thing.

Health and medical care. Well, this was an obvious yes. We have been on the road back and forth to Duke and UNC all my life, and we have needed to add doctors along the way. So much closer to clinics and hospital- it’s almost silly we hadn’t moved sooner.

These two were the circumstances that make our move to our new house a home. Now, what makes the warmth of a home?

COLOR! If you know our family at all, we have always had our walls painted in different colors. My mom and I struggled with the last home we were in, because it was new construction, so painting each room a different color was $$$. So we settled for the front door to be yellow 😊. This time around, the house needing painting and my brother and his family started their own painting company, Pine State Painting just last year! (I know he is my brother, but they did an excellent job! https://pinestatepainting.com ) Our front door will have to wait until the neighbors get used to us, then we may can get their approval for a happy door. We have yellow, blue, green, purple, navy- it’s a wonderful thing!!

Art and Pictures. I like to think of a home as a storybook, a gallery of lives lived, welcoming safe space. Your home should tell your story, not someone else’s. It should have the markings of what’s shaped you, your family, your friends. In our home you will find an abundance of artwork, made by artists with tiny hands to those who make art for a living, and all in between. You will find pictures – all have a reason for why they are hanging in our home, and most likely have a story.

Books. No doubt you already guessed this one. Yes, my children’s book obsession still presses on. And I still need to give some away, but oh how hard it is to choose?!?! Books of all kinds are found in every room- literally, bathrooms, laundry, bedrooms- you never know when you will need a good book.

Fans 😂 Yep. Ceiling fans. Fans on the walls. Desktop fans. Battery fans. I am an all the time, hot natured, rarely cold human being. I can’t help it. Ive stopped apologizing for it. I believe you would rather put on more layers than me take off more layers, because I’m running out of layers to take off! So we have lots of blankets, which also are a must for a home!

Reminders of Lucy. As I type this today, my desk and office are not yet fully ready, so I am sitting in my bedroom. I am surrounded by reminders of Lucy. Quilts of her first outfits, her announcement, her celebration of life, her footprints that Child Life made in the hospital, artwork by a dear friend, her blankets, her doll, and her trunk full of memories and journals. I’m sure I would be judged by someone who didn’t know my story if they walked into my bedroom, because it is literally all reminders that she came, we held her for a wonderful six months, and I get to carry her for the rest of my life. It’s my joy and honor to carry her. We have reminders all over the house, but my bedroom is a reminder that I am her mom and she is my daughter. A fact that some people don’t know, a fact some don’t want to remember, a fact that some choose not to talk about, a fact that at the end of the day, leaves me wanting to scream, “I AM LUCY’S MOMMY!” (Just in case you ever find me walking down the road- jk)

Bathtub. And let me just tell you- we don’t know the previous owners, but let’s just say they didn’t get the basic package. The bath tub is out of this world! Because I am hot natured, medically challenged, and yes, have to have a fan in the bathroom, I also have to take my showers sitting down. My heart rate and blood pressure otherwise go all over the place. I am a medical case no one quite knows what to do with- but that’s okay with me. Anyways, a bathtub and all its amenities are important to me, I won’t bore you with the details.

Lights. NO OVERHEAD LIGHTS. All lamps 😊 and they must be soft lighting. Funny thing is we have always been more of a lamp vs overhead lighting kind of family. However, over the past ten-ish years I have discovered how much lighting – overhead, natural, UV, bright, low- has been effecting my health. Of course this has come with research and time. But light filtering and black out shades we have found to be significantly helpful. We have also found the type of light bulbs we use are a big factor. Also in my deciding on paint colors, I found that blues, greens, purples are best for migraine sufferers- hints the purple bedroom 😉

These are the things I believe make a house a home for me. It could be completely different for you. We didn’t realize that having double oven that you don’t have to bend down to see inside would be so fun and helpful- but we are learning new things! Now we have to be brave and try the gas stove 😳

A house becomes a home when it tells the stories of those who live inside.

Life Book of the Week: Room of Marvels, by James Bryan Smith