A Resting Place.

How do you release your grip on something that is so close to your heart, soul, and holds years of memories?

Letting go of the Physical, Holding on to the Memorable.

Loosening our grip on material things, especially when there are memories attached, I find is an extremely difficult thing to do. It is bigger than the place or the object, it’s the things and the people we remember that are connected.

This summer is the first summer in my entire life that I have not visited the lake house pictured above. For many reasons my parents decided to sell this lake home this year, and as hard as it is to say, it was time. However I never ever thought I would say this AT ALL! (Nevers really do happen!)

My parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and my brother all built this dock and house before I came along. By the time I came along, we had a window unit A/C in the family area and a tv with foil wrapped around the antenna, with hopes of maybe getting the local news. We all piled in when it rained. And since I was struggling with breathing, everyone took turns staying with me in the house for the first few years. (My pediatrician had a house across from us, so that was a plus 😊)

My Paw-paw had a boat named the “Barbara Meade II” (came with the name), although we liked to call it the African Queen, because it was one of his favorite movies. And then we had a boat named the “Jeanie,” named after my mom. This boat came before the engagement ring (he said he had a picture to show her, but it hadn’t came in yet. She was thinking it was a ring… but it was the boat)! Pretty much everybody but me skied, although I only vividly remember my Paw-Paw skiing 😂 which he did longer than anyone in the family. (and I won’t live down that he is the only one I can remember of the adults that skied.)

Over the years we added tubes, kneeboards, jet ski, pontoon, etc. But it wasn’t really ever about the water sports, it was centered around family, friends, time together. Front porch sitting during the storms, who could beat paw-paws famous cannon balls, Pepsi and Peanuts and snacks from the gas station, aka the only store close to the lake, cruising up and down the lake. We were tucked back in a cove with a view out to the lake that was beautiful! The only things to fear were anything poking up from the water that could be a snake, which many times was a stick that someone was trying to trick you with!

It’s where we learned to bait our own hook with real worms and catch and release the fish. We caught fish with moonpies and other random “bait.” Fed old bread to the ducks and geese. It’s where we learned responsible water safety. You don’t dive when you can’t see what’s in the water. You shouldn’t go near the lake without someone knowing where you are. Lifejackets are always the best, and wear one that fits correctly.

Always sit down when a boat is on. Unfortunately we learned this one too well after my mom fell and cracked her tailbone on the pontoon!

A big lesson my brother and our cousin learned was don’t throw matches in a citronella candle and then try to put out the fire with an expired fire extinguisher. The neighbors thought it was fireworks, but my brother’s body would tell a different story with second and third degree burns. This was a lesson, but also a night we can look back on and laugh! And be grateful it wasn’t worse.

Another lesson learned: don’t go down new “channels” you discover, because they most likely don’t go through to the part of the lake you are trying to get to. We ended up having to back all the way out! I didn’t help that my grandma was on the peak of panicking and all we could do was giggle! I think back now and panic for her!!

We learned splinters will happen, so don’t scream. Mosquito bites were cured with Paw-Paws little bottle of ammonia. Stung but worked. (still not sure where he got this stuff)

We lost a bunch of fishing poles that we were for sure would float. And there is no telling how many tools are at the bottom of the lake around the dock. We had plenty of wallets, keys, phones, jewelry soaked and had to go searching for underwater. Plenty of broken oars. Canoe tipping. Lake baths (don’t think you can do this anymore). Swinging in the hammock and hammock tipping. S’mores. Campfires.

Then there was Paw-Paw’s apple tree. It was a tree stump, but he would always get to the lake before the rest of the family and place an apple or two in the stump. And it became Paw-Paw’s Apple tree.

When I think back on the progression of things, I think of the various forms of how we listened to music. Radio, cassettes, 8-tracks, CD, iPod, and then it was our phones. We always had something playing.

I also laugh because of how far in my little kid mind I thought Roxboro and Danville were. It seemed like such a drag to have to go to the store in either place! Although I did love going to the mall in Danville 😊. And for many years this is where we went trick-or-treating! If we “dined-out” we went to the good Ole’ Country Club at Chub Lake. Mmmm salad bar and dessert to die for! And then during Covid, the world delivers us a Dollar General! You would have thought it was a Bucees! Everybody was hopping with excitement! And since we were living at the lake at the time, we joined right in with the excitement!

Things have definitely changed. I can remember maybe five houses in our cove. Now there are fifteen plus! The boating traffic is crazy and constant. And the bottom line water/boating safety is different.

My brother and I always believed we would be able to keep the family lake home, although this wasn’t unrealistic, it just wasn’t meant to be. It was for such a time as this. He has been able to watch his two kids grow there, and so have I and my parents. I was able to take Lucy there twice, and I am at peace with this. My cousin and his family have been able to celebrate many July 4ths there. As well as many other family and friends joining us over the years. My Paw-Paw was able to see all his grandkids grow up and six of his great grandkids enjoy the lake.

There have been so many moments, memories, laughter, tears, conversations, relationships that have happened in this house, on the porch, on the dock, on the boats. And those are what make saying goodbye to the physical place so hard. The house is the place I spent most of my time, when I was little and in the past several years, due to health. The front porch is where we did crafts of all sorts, asked would you rather questions and getting to know you questions, played skeeball, played in little plastic pools, and so on. The same goes for around the campfire. So many firsts on boats and behind boats- first tube rides, first time skiing, first time kneeboarding.

You would think I would get better at loosening my grip by now. In some ways Lucy’s life has taught me and pushed me to do so. In other ways it’s her life that I am clinging to, this is the only other place (other than my car and our rocking chair) that I have been with her, that we could call our family’s. It’s a totally different mind/thought/feeling than I would have ever imagined. I become overwhelmed by the thought of not being able to go to a place that we were together. This isn’t a new thought, I had this when we moved from my childhood home, but then I still had the lake.

So how do I go about grieving a place that holds and represents an abundance of memories? I’m not sure. I do know that I trust my parents when they told my brother and I that it was time to sell. I hold close the photos and videos and voice recordings that we have from over the years, as a reminder of God’s faithfulness and the time he gave us together. And kept us safe!

Pleasant Pines, you were a place of refuge and comfort, a happy place, a resting spot, a needful break, and a home where I learned the extraordinary value of soaking in the moment memories. For this I am incredibly grateful.

Life Book of the Week: The Pink House, by Kate Salley Palmer