What ever happened to PLAYtime?

Play.

What are the first things you see, feel, smell, taste, hear when you think of this word?

Color. Smiles. Activity. Concentration. Comfortable. Welcoming. Happy. Play-doh. Finger paints. Goldfish. Juice. Giggles. Conversation. Pitter-patters. Music. Squeals.

These are just the beginning of what pops into my head when I think about “play.”

Children have the raw instinct to just know to play. They don’t need instruction, they simply begin. They start by learning the noises and voices that are safe and familiar. Then slowly they begin to develop their focusing skills, and start to discover their hands, feet, and those around them. They gradually learn they can kick, grab, roll over, and all these things help them with their interactions with people and toys. I find this out of this world absolutely amazing! I could watch this development over and over and never become tired of seeing the intricate work of our God. Don’t Blink! Because it goes super fast!

If you have been reading my posts for a while, or if you know me, I am at my best when I am with children, it’s simply how God has woven my heart. I can have a conversation with a 2-year old and learn more about life than having a conversation with someone my own age, it’s just the way I am wired. I have always loved people younger and people older than me. I can’t really explain it, it’s just a fact.

When I worked in child care, I briefly considered working in a preschool. I interviewed at a few, but was left with a conflicting feeling of, “where’s the play?” When I went to preschool, it was called PLAY school, in the very early 1990s, and when I was being interviewed, was around late 2000s. I had been keeping children in different environments for roughly five to six years. I didn’t have an official degree in child development, but had a decent amount of self-education under my belt, enough to know that play was still a very crucial factor in the preschool years. As I interviewed and looked over curriculum, I was disturbed by the recommended achievement required of three and four and five year olds. The fact that they were expected to be able to recognize and write all numbers and letters, write their full name, and beginning to read sight words, and this just being the start of what was required, simply made me want to burst into tears. These types of things were not expected of me coming out of PLAY school!?!? What happened to learning through play, conversations and interactions with each other and adults? In what I have studied, the best and most effective way for children of this age is to learn through play, everyday situations.

I am reminded lately, and far too often, of how much we neglect the importance of letting go of schedules and allowing time for play – for our children and for us to pause and play with children. Not long ago, I was just sitting taking in the moments while my nephew had all his Hess trucks zooming and sirens blaring, and my niece was lining up all her mini American Girl dolls for school, they needed moments to themselves to play, but I was honored that they allowed me to be present with them. They are seven and eleven. Sometimes children just want you close, they want you to be with them – We all need time to play, be creative, have time to do something that makes our hearts light!

So basically I am a child at heart. Another snapshot of my child care work: love of costumes/dress-up. I’ve always loved a good costume box! I danced from the age of two until sixth grade, ballet, tap, jazz, and a dance team, so costumes were always overflowing. Then when I began child care, I kept two boys who loved going to target! So the week after Halloween I would take them to target and we would fill the cart with costumes at a super discounted price! This all eventually added up to two double racks full of costumes! It was always a popular spot at our house in the playroom. 😊

There is something about costumes and play. The few seconds or minutes that you can just pretend to be someone or something else.

All the costumes collected over 30+ years have been donate to a local non-profit. Most all toys and items that were collected over childhood and my childcare years have been donated. My Lucy was scooped up, we moved, and it was time for new littles to play and make memories!

As an adult I have been Mary Poppins, Madeline, Cat in the Hat, Ms. Frizzle, I love having fun with costumes! When Lucy arrived, I had already decided since she loved being carried in the ergo, aka kangaroo pouch, that the ergo would be the popcorn bucket, Lucy would be popcorn, and I would be the concessions stand attendant 😊. Every year I come up with something that I believe we would be for halloween, it keeps my heart light. Woodstock and Snoopy. Rosie the Riveter and Amanda Gorman. Just to name a few.

We didn’t have a halloween together. She never got to the age of dress-up. Although Swingie did fashion shows multiple times a day, one for each outfit change 😊. This time of year I have to remind myself of these things: 1. She came, and there was miracle upon miracle! 2. I am so extremely grateful for the moments and memories we had together. 3. It is a fact that we didn’t have a halloween or dress-up days together. 4. And it’s okay to grieve everything about this loss. 5. This loss is real and ongoing.

I haven’t lost my love of children, and seeing their faces this time of year, or really any time of year. The greatest gift to me is when people share their children with me – pictures, stories, playtime 💕. So please never hold back! I beg you to share! The loneliest place is when nothing is shared, because they are afraid it will hurt, not sharing hurts the most.

Last week I shared how grief comes in waves. This time of year the waves tend to be intense and more frequent, the come between July and December, and the simplest explanation I can give you is this, they are the months of the most family-oriented holidays all squished together, and we had not even one of any of these together. Also, these are some of my absolute favorite holidays, although this has changed in some ways too. I hope this visual will maybe give you a sense of the intense waves…

I’m a little girl in the ocean, care-free, not knowing what is about to hit me, and completely catch me off guard and knock me off my feet. This wave takes me with it, on a rough and tumble ride. My head comes in contact with the ocean floor, spinning, hoping for air really soon! Then I feel someone scooping out of the water, my dad or my brother, or my mom. Gasping for breath, salt water ingested, sand and shells, scratches all over me. A desire to be out of this bizarre ocean and never return. But of course, I do return.

When you learn to live with loss and grief, you let a lot of things go. Like trying to hold back tears- that is no longer possible. When a wave of this magnitude hits you, you wail, you cry without a noise, you gasp for breath because the moment takes all breathing away from you. You take the moment, you do that moment, you sit in it as long as you need to, you work through every part of it, the wave subsides, and you don’t live in fear of the next wave, but when it comes, you welcome it, and let yourself do that moment.

If you’re the one looking in, don’t be disturbed or try to fix, just be with, sit with.

And when the wave has subsided, PLAY! Be lighthearted! Be silly! It’s the healthiest thing anyone can do! Teach this to your children! It is crucial. It is critical. It is life saving.

JESUS. LIFE. PLAY. PERIOD.

Now go get your costumes on and make the world a much lighter place!

Picture today: My brother, me pulling his tail ☺️ Me as a pumpkin, which this outfit has made it through multiple generations 😊 and Look at that pumpkin! That must have been the year Mom made a homemade pumpkin pie from the the actual pumpkin! 😂 (aka Libby’s 💕 you Mom! Best ever!)

Life Book of the Week: “What will you be, Grandma?” by Nanette Newman, a look inside what our littles are thinking 😊

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