I’ve Been Here Before

My parents and I are currently going back and watching the West Wing TV show (1999-2006), many, many relevant lessons and applications for our world today, but more than that, I would like to share a quote from the series…

“This guy is walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can’t get out. A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, ‘Hey you, can you help me out?’ The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts us, ‘Father, I’m down in this hole can you help me out?’ The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by, ‘Hey, Joe, it’s me can you help me out?’ And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guys says, “are you stupid? Now we are both down here.’ The friend says, ‘Yeah, but I’ve been down here before and I know the way out.'”

Now you are probably thinking the picture today hits right on the spot for Anna’s brain. And you would be right, actually you would be right for a good bit of my days – some more than others. But these two things will hopefully make sense in the following few paragraphs.

You see last Thursday was 8 years since watching my beautiful miracle run ahead into Jesus’ arms. We started the tradition of releasing painted lady butterflies last year. And this year they came a day early and my nephew was over and got to release them with us!

The last weeks in June until the day she ran ahead are what some may refer to a rollercoaster, but for me, it’s more like my mind being emptied onto a trampoline – I also hate rollercoasters so that may be part of it. One minute I be smiling about how sweet and tender these last days were, the next I can’t catch my breath. My thoughts will be filing through the days that led up to the day we went to the doctor. And then later, my thoughts will be going through the week we had at home with her. I am always looking at videos and pictures being amazed at how well she was doing, and what a sharp turn her little body took. I wasn’t concerned about milestones as long as she was growing and eating and sleeping. I wasn’t concerned about delays of any kind- those things could be worked on in the future, I wanted to be in the right now. And in the moment, she was making eye contact, responding by looking at who was talking to her, she had different responses to who was talking, she was trying constantly to say something- but was struggling to get it out- this may have been a “delay.” But honestly, after 8 years of watching videos and looking through pictures, if this is what she was delayed on the most, I will take it for every other little miracle that came with her life!

Any time of year is a hard time to watch a child go before you. And I am most likely sensitive to infant, child, teen passings around this time of year. But goodness gracious, this past week there have been many making mainstream news channels! I’m not going to judge these events but no matter if they were accidents or intentional – they are devastating! Let it be a reminder to love your kids today- make sure you know their friends and their parents – no matter how irritating they may think this is – it could be a matter of life and death.

In this crazy thing called life, we have so many opportunities to be the one saying, “I’ve been here before.” It doesn’t mean that we have all the answers or that we can fix anything- prescription or perfect prayer. What it does mean is that we can simply relate. A child is frustrated, I’ve been there, let me show you how we can work this out and regulate what we are feeling. Life skills. A teen is ticked about a TV rule, I’ve been there, sit down, ask why, truly listen, and then explain why this rule is necessary and maybe give a responsibility to them to help show they are taking their role in the house seriously. Life skills. A friend is diagnosed with an illness, I’ve been there, sit in silence until they are ready to talk, send them notes- good ole’ snail mail. Someone watches their child run ahead of them into the arms of Jesus, I’ve been there, say their child’s name every chance you get.

Many times your “ministry” comes from your deepest pain. Your “I’ve Been There’s” become your ministry. Simple Jesus, (their name), Jesus!

I am at a point in my life that looks so incredibly different than any other point in my life. I have really struggled with not being able to “show up” physically to many things. However, Jesus has given me sweet peace in knowing that this is okay. My worth and value are not dependent on whether others understand, but that he has been here and he knows the way out.

Life Book of the week: My Favorite Color is Blue. Sometimes. A Journey Through Loss with Art and Color, by Roger Hutchison